The Cold Hard Facts of Life

Skin Me

2012-01-05T06:40:00.000-08:00

I'm so sick of my skin issues. I hate them. They come and they go and they change more than one changes underwear. I've come the end of the rope so it seems. I'm a-scared to go to the doctors because they ain't got the slightest idea what it is. I think I have something simple this time. However, they will give me 5 different things and send me on my way. As my aunt says, 'They don't know the difference between a ass and a hole in the ground'. I agree. I will give it a shot and try and hit up a skin doctor, but it just makes my skin crawl to think of all of the lame things they told me last time about what I mighta coulda had.

I'm gonna try and get my eyes fixed soon. I hate wearing glasses and the surgery is much less expensive here than back in the US. I'll try and figure that out soon. I have 2 weeks vacation, so why not try and get it done during that time since I ain't got a chance to head home for my vacation. I have to figure out how to get my work visa put into my new passport so that should be fun. I don't see why it needs to be so difficult sometimes over here. I live like an all grown adult, but yet as a child. I feel like nothing but a tiny little piss ant crawling among all of the people running around here too. I'll be able to see better and it might not be so annoying after the surgery. All of the people running around makes my eyes even more foggy.

I want to skin myself when I think of the election coming up. I am so sad to see the country going in the direction it is going in. It is just sad. Where did all of the greatness of the country go. I can remember that just a few years ago when I was right proud to be American and part of such an amazing country. Now, I am more excited about the Grand Canyon and the mighty Mississippi than the political landscape. My head's a hurtin' just thinking of it now. How can we have such a sick system. They are all not for me or my beliefs or my family or my church or my career or my community back home. I'm an alien here too. I even have a card to prove it, but my American passport that I just got failed to give me a bright feeling when I got it back in the mail this time. I remember proudly reading through it last time I got one renewed. I ain't so content with the state of the country anymore. It just makes me sad. I mean really sad. Politics makes me sick now. I used to like it, but now I am just wanting to know what is going on, but I get sad reading instead of excited. My skin curls. So sad!

New Chapter

2012-01-02T07:36:00.000-08:00

It looks like a new chapter of my life is about to open. It is the kind of thing that was only a dream just a few months ago. They was no way that I could have done any of this alone. I guess that this is one of those times that I am a bit angry at God for no reason. I can't place my anger, but I know with my head that all that is happening is good and is a gift that I only kind of earned. I only done so well because of the support of others. I am just not a person that can do things alone very well. I can do almost nothing well all by myself. I remember having a good friend sign me up for classes in university. I wasn't exactly able to even use the computer well enough or sift through all of them dumb courses in the booklet.

I am just at a point where I cannot even start to think that I done it alone. It is evident that Jesus is in control and I am not. I fight to be in control of things and I fail. I give up and God pulls through for me. How is it possible that I landed this job? I went with a friend to the interview because it is fairly scary to travel alone in Korea to an interview at a top level school alone. I'd be able to do it in the US without thinking, but not here. Things are different and I can't speak much Korean. My friend couldn't either, but we are dumb together. That is the way to do it. I sit through the interview and I give it my best. Them 30 minutes were fairly short. Time flew by and I don't recall too many details except the awkward times. I walked out of the room and walked clear in the wrong direction instead of remembering where I had come in. Then I went out and found my friend. I said, "What you do?" He said, "I don't know, but you got that." I went on to tell the good and bad things about the interview and the questions that they asked and everthing else I could come up with.
Two weeks after, I seen this girl in our language exchange group. She ask me about the job. I told her that I wasn't sure and she went on to tell me that I didn't get the job. She was sure. How could someone just come right out and say that. I don't know. Are you serious?

I had to renew my passport and the courier company lost my passport for 1 week. That ain't cool when you don't have an easy way to renew it here. I needed it. Not fun!! It was found and got delivered today. I continued to doubt each and every part. I don't trust in God when he is clearly in control and I am not. So, the chapter is a new one, but it ain't a clearly written one. I know I can do this job, but I can't do it in my own strength. I pray that this month will be filled with a calm feeling rather than anxiety about stuff that I ain't able to control.

Sore Mind

2011-12-23T18:08:00.000-08:00

My mind is numb from sitting at work doing nothing. You see....most people dream of such a job. Well, it isn't a job at all. I am treated like a after-thought at best, which I have grown to enjoy a bit. It used to get on my nerves. I've come to expect it. I sit there and try my best to include the others in my daily life and whatever. It is just hard when they are kind of too shy to even talk to me. I don't care how well or bad somebody speaks English as long as I can communicate with them. It takes a good long time, but whatever. It don't bother me because mostly I'm bored clear out of my mind.

Everything here is just a bit harder than it needs to be. I tried to do a bit of work here at home and I realized that I ain't got the right word processor. My laptop from the US cannot read 'Hangul' which is the Korean letter system. Now I'll drag myself out to a PC room and pay to do work that I forgot to do at work because it is so rare that I actually have to do anything. I know that it don't seem right, but you have to remember that my mind has went numb.

I have a funny student who is in 2nd grade middle school here which would be 8th grade back home. One day as I was walking down the freezing hallway he stopped me to ask me about Jesus. He pointed to his heart and to mine and just kept saying Jesus and then giving a thumbs up. It was really funny. Then I seen him cleaning the wall for a few hours a couple weeks after. I ask him what he was doing and he didn't want to even try and explain. I asked him in my limited Korean if he smokes and he said no. I knew that is the reason why he was cleaning the wall. First he told me no and that his clothes only smelled like it and then I bothered him and explained why it is not a good idea to do that. By the end, we were laughing which is sort of cool.

I've went totally crazy this week because of the fact that I've needed to renew my passport. I used the courier system that the embassy suggested. The idiots picked up my mail and didn't give a tracking number or a receipt. Of course, they didn't come on time so I wadn't there on Saturday morning when the showed up. I give the company a call and tried to speak 'English' the person there who speaks 'English'. They didn't want to talk to me much cuz my co-teacher had set it all up. What a joke!! My co-teacher is 'too busy' to follow up on my personal stuff, but it was in her name and she speaks Korean. So, for a week I looked for my passport by any means possible without a tracking number. The idiots finally give me a tracking number 15 hours before they delivered it to the embassy which was ever bit of 5 days too late. So yes, my mind is numb from all of this.

Nepal!!!!!

2011-12-14T06:26:00.000-08:00

I like to do things in a kind of routine. My friends here tell me that I am very scheduled. I have to be. It's too much going on all of the time. I get my week planned out a week before it comes. This week, every single hour is pretty much planned out for me. I had to ask for 'early leaves' today in order to head off to the bank tomorrow. It is something that is difficult to ask for. I only get eight hours a year for this sort of thing. I will send a small chunk of money back to the homestead and get my long awaited American check for my passport renewal. They ain't no other time to do it, and they's very limited time before my next work visa must be done. Time has flew so fast here this year. I ain't never had a more faster year in my whole life. It seems like every week is like me climbing a mountain in Nepal just trying to get it all done.

I've been lucky enough to find a nice Indian restaurant that is only a block from my house. You gotta understand that this is Korea, so they ain't many places like this here. The owners are from Nepal. It is an interesting place. He speaks rather good Korean, but his English ain't the best. His wife don't speak English or Korean which makes for some funny conversations. I bought some hand made gloves off of her that were made in Nepal for a gift. It cost me about $2. That's crazy! I go there about 2x a week for some chicken and some rice. It is pretty good. I go when I ain't go the energy to cook. It's so many weird/odd things there. The owner has 3 front teeth. I guess he has some weird 3rd tooth in between his main ones. It cracks up my friends that goes there too. Today I treated 3 of my friends to a free dinner using my club card filled with 30 stamps. Then they took our picture cuz I'z the first to redeem my card. I guess that it's another teacher who has 3 full cards who ain't brung in a party of 4 to get his $65 dollar meal for free. The little Nepal place is quite an interesting place. Oh.. I almost forgot to tell you that sometimes the owner wears this random pearl earring. It is so funny! LOL!

I guess my readership is pretty much higher in Europe than it is in the US or in Korea. I find that odd. I guess now that I've wrote about Nepal that it might could start in Nepal too. Who knows? I'm surprised that they's people that reads my blog all over the world about my crazy random life over here in my loft house on the 10th floor in the city of Incheon, South Korea. Nepal would be a cool place to visit. I know someone who went there on a mission trip to tell people about the love of Jesus for the first time. I guess they told them about how Jesus was born in a barn, lived a perfect life, died for everyone's sins and then rose from the grave to prove that he is God. They did this while living beside of a river and using it to cool their food in a cooler. Maybe I should go there some day and see if they still remember my friend who told them all of this for the first time. That would be super interesting.

Way Too Much

2011-12-04T06:54:00.000-08:00

They's way too much going on in the world. It's too much crazy stuff that I am totally unable to wrap my head around. So many people are so content to just hate and do terrible things to each other. How exactly does people get to that point that they think that they are doing good by hurting people? I have a friend that was raised in a 'Christian' home, yet her father won't talk to her sister because she got her a tattoo. I'm pretty sure that the only reason she done that is to prove that she ain't under the father's authority. Of course, this girl is ever bit of 25 years old and ain't lived at home in years. Then again, a Muslim guy told me that it is okay for him to kill me because I do not respect the teachings of his 'prophet'. How do you hate like that? This is blind hate and the other hates way too much for more personal reasons. Why the hate?

They ain't too many people that goes to my church here in Incheon. It might be 60 tops. I remember when I first came people were not too close. They never wanted to spend time together and didn't give a rip if they seen each other at church. You can forget thinking about seeing each other outside of church. We've growed much closer, yet there is still some sort of uneasy feeling among some of them. I can't place it, but it is there. At least there is not so much desire to run out of the door after the service. There's way too much work that needs done in Korea. Too much bad stuff in your face all of the time and too much bowing to show how kind they are. It is a crazy mix here. Too much kindness and too much sickness.

I've had way too much fun here and way too many blessings. I miss things, but it's too much going on here that is good for me. I keep wondering why I have been sent here to work and live this random life. I suppose most lives are random, but not like this. I have a job where I sit way too much and teach way too little and get paid too much to do mostly nothing. I am a puppet. Why am I a puppet? I am the token white guy. I don't mind because it is okay. I knowed it before I came. It's okay. It's just way too much to process. My friends here are way too kind. They somehow know exactly what I am thinking all of the time. Sometimes they know way too much. I hope that the guy that told me that it was okay to kill me knows way too much about how I don't want him to die. Wow.. I wrote way too much about way too many random things. I guess that means that I am random. Who knows?

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-18T21:37:00.000-08:00

It's a cool crisp day here in Korea. The sun's a shinin' and the wind is softly blowing. Today is the day of my church Thanksgiving Day meal. I have so much to be excited about and so much that I am just amazed about. This has been one of the most crazy months of my life. I've been told that I have five different skin conditions. One of them was a very serious one. I've visited one of the biggest hospitals in the country three times along with the biggest one in my city. We are talking about an area with about 25 million people. So, these hospitals are supposed to be the best that they have. I was given 8 pills a day and cream to put on my skin. I became a pill junkster. I went in there and told them that I ain't taking them pills no more unless they give me some proof of what it is and why. I refused to continue. I was thankful when I stopped. What a relief. I am thankful that 90% of my skin issues are gone. Really thankful!

One month ago I went to an interview for a dream job. This is the kind of job that you don't even really even dream of. It is just right crazy. I traveled for 2 hours by bus with a friend to the interview in a suit with my name inside of it. I arrived a bit early. I was going to give it my all and that is what I done. I practiced with a friend a week earlier and I give the best answers that I could figure out. They was 4 English teachers and they was one Korean dean or something. She never did crack a smile for the whole 30 minutes. It was only 5 questions with a few follow up ones. They wadn't even one weird question. I answered them all and got up to shake their hands. It was so awkward leaning over a U-shaped table. I was suddenly nervous at the end. I walked out of the room and make a sharp right turn. I had went the wrong way. I instantly felt so dumb. I didn't even know how to leave that office.

The next weekend was filled with waiting and wondering. They had another full day of interviews to do for that job. I felt as if their was a chance in hell that I'd get the job. This job is like getting a job at Harvard back home. The people who graduate from this university goes on to make lots of money and have top jobs all over the world. It is nuts!! So, I just kept waitin'. I waited for one more week and I got an e-mail from them at 4pm the same day that they promised a response. I opened it and it said, thank you for your interest in the position... bla bla bla. I was not surprised. I was just so happy to have got the interview. It was awesome. I was content with it. How cool!

I asked my school to renew me. I had hopes of moving on to university, but at that point I knew that I wasn't gonna get it. They said yes after some talking among theirselves. I wasn't excited about it, but it was a job. Then a few days ago I got a call. I looked down at my phone in the office and answered. It was an unknown
Korean number. Usually they call and insist that I speak Korean and call back 2 or 3 times thinking it is a joke that a foreigner answered the phone in Korea. It was the dean of the highest ranking school in the country. She asked in the most formal way possible if I was who answered the phone. I thought she was going to suggest that I apply somewhere else. She offered me the job. I run into the other room so the others around me wouldn't have a idea what was going on. I liketa fell on the ground. No joke. I hung up and went and sit on my chair in my office. I wanted so bad to tell somebody, but they wadn't nobody there I could share it with. I was stuck for four hours caught in a kind of shell wanting to explode.

I give it a day or two and I found out that my official renewal papers had come to my school. I had to drop the bomb. So, I tried my best to make it early. I overslept that morning, so I had to run to school. I got there and run down and told one of my co-teachers. She was shocked and happy beyond belief. It is just unheard of for a random dude from another country to waltz in there for one year and land a job at that university. I told my main co-teacher and there was a hint of anger or annoyance or everwhat it was. I ain't sure. I don't care. I was excited so I called two of my most coolest friends and told them that I wanted to buy them dinner to celebrate. My friend showed up with a funny cake with 5 candles and we eat some Indian food and then some cake. Life is just crazy. You can't predict it and that is what I am thankful for. Just thankful. I will eat some turkey today and just be thankful.

Just Want to Sleep

2011-11-15T05:59:00.000-08:00

Today I wanted to sleep more than anyone could imagine. I worked all day at a job that is far from hard in most ways, but it drains your soul in other ways. I don't never know what is going on, even when I try. I've give up having that under my belt. I just sit there and wait for information that I know ain't never going to come. I do what needs done and don't do what don't need done. In this land, making it look as if you got tons to do is so important. But..., they ain't nothing to do. They's nothing I can do about that. I've planned most all of what needs planned for the rest of the entire year. No joke.

I was tired, so I went to a restaurant that serves Indian food. The owner is from Nepal. This is very strange in Korea. I was too tired to cook today, so I spent 10 bucks on some chicken and rice. I could have come home and cooked, but today was my late day at work. I was just tired. I wanted to sleep like nobody knows. Just as I was finishing my food, my phone rung. It was one of the golden 10 who came to Korea with me. He works with my former coworker who I used to know way back when.

He let me know that my friend who was pregnant and sick 5 years ago when I was in Korea is again in the same boat. He works with her this time. How crazy is that? She is one of those people who know from the first time you meet them, that it is almost impossible to not keep in contact with them for the rest of your life. It is just way out of control. My friend who works with her now said that to me about 2 weeks after he met her for the first time. So, we drug ourselves to a hospital on the other side of town to see our friend. Her 6 year old kid was waiting for us there. He gets so excited because he has 'foreign' friends. It is quite funny to see. So, after being so tired, I forced myself to go and see my friend. It was well worth it. The family was funny and our mutual friend made it all the more crazy funny. Living here is just so random and many times it makes you so so so tired. Despite being tired, it was all worth it.

Knowing the Future

2011-11-09T06:55:00.000-08:00

I've always wanted to be able to know the future. I like to plan and I like to try to do this and that. I have right close to every day planned out for a week in advance. Most of the time, I end up doing most of the things that I have planned. However, I think I've passed into being anxious about the future at times. I know that they ain't nothing that I can do to change the future. Many of the times, there is almost nothing that I can do to even control my life in even the smallest way. The lucky thing is that I am finally getting to the point again that I realize that I ain't in control of my path. I walk the path, but my steps are on the ground ahead of me as I walk. I just put my foot right in the print. Sometimes, I ain't smart enough to realize that I have misstepped. Who knows? I don't... that's for sure.

I come to Korea with 300 teachers. We done orientation together and went off to our schools all over the 'Land of the Morning Calm'. All of the areas have told their teachers if they gonna stay for next year. I mean, most of the people have signed the contracts and done the blood tests. We have to get AIDS tests cuz the are a-scared that we foreigners might could have the bug. So, there I sit in my school just thinking about how my city was the last of the cities to send out the renewal papers. I emailed the main office and they give me the news that the papers would be sent out by the end of this month. Despite all of this, I asked my co-teacher if she knew what would happen. I figure that they must know if they gonna keep me after 2/3 of the year. They talked it over and finally told me that I am gonna stay. Well, that's the word now. Let's see what next month brings.

I'd like to go home for the holiday, but I get 4 weeks vacation in summer, so I plan on doing that. That means that I'll be here and I won't be a doin' much over the Christmas break. I hope that the holiday is not so bad. I 'member that the last time I was here during that time

Sex Slave

2011-11-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

So, my church had a screening of a film called Nefarious. It documented how girls get picked up off of the streets or sold to the sex trade industry in many places. I guess South Koreans are the most frequent people who are sold into the sex industry in the US. I saw how people in Cambodia often sell their girls. How does people treat their kids as property? I just don't get it.

I guess these girls just get used to feeling as if they are worthless and without hope. So, if someone offers them another option, they rarely accept it. If they do accept the new option, 90% or more return to the industry within a year. The whole thing was just creepy to me. It give me chills. Either seeing no other option or wanting to go back to beatings and rapes rather than confront the cold hard facts. This ain't cool. Wow.. It just made me sick to watch.

Where there is legal activity going on, you can be sure that there is illegal activity going on as well. Why does a legal industry publish safety ideas for their workers if it has truly made their work any more safer? I just feel that we need to be more vocal for human rights about this. Sweden has almost got rid of the industry because they decided that they have to do it to provide equal rights for men and women. How much more do believers have responsibility to tackle this evil industry.

F-hole

2011-11-02T05:35:00.000-07:00

I used to go to this cafe about 5 times a week named 'F-hole'. Don't get no nasty thoughts in your mind. The owner didn't speak English, but he was a music major in university. He had a dream to open a cafe and he did just that. He named it after the pattern on a violin. He had no idea until we foreigners started to frequent his awesome little shop. Well, them days are gone. The little cafe with real ham sandwiches is long gone. One of my favorite things is gone. I loved it because he'd play exactly the kind of music that I like and I could call him and place my order then show up and it would be all ready.

They's this new place that my friends have started going to. It's called 'Beyond'. It ain't no F-hole. The drinks are terrible and the prices are high. We had singings there and some people used to read poetry. Most of the people would read some serious funny things that they had wrote, but others just sit there and listened. It was so chill. Wednesday nights ain't the same no more. The F-hole sort of moved on to 'Beyond', but it is beyond lame at 'Beyond'.

So, they's sort of a bit of a hole in my schedule. I've filled it with Korean lessons with a friend, but I kind of miss getting out of the Korean feeling and meeting up with some of my international friends. It's people from just about every English speaking country that you can think of and many of them are pretty funny. I miss it.

What is it?

2011-11-01T06:03:00.000-07:00

I've growed angry at this point. They ain't a doctor in the world that can explain what is going on. Well, let me rephrase that. Every one of the 5 that I've went to has told me what I have. The problem is that each and every one has told me something different. I've followed what they've said, and it ain't made a bit of difference. What's up with that??

I've decided that they's worse things in the world to have other than spots here and there all over my body that comes and goes. I feel great, and I go to the gym and do whatever I want there. I don't feel sick. I need to be be thankful for that and not pay no mind to the doctors on some level. If they's been 5 doctors and 5 ideas, either 4 or 5 have been wrong. I can't focus on any of that. I just keep thinking of all the good things rather than the annoying bad!

Korea is a place of conforming. You must conform or else. I sometimes have a few spots on my hands. The people here on the subways looks at you like you have some serious disease on public transportation. What is a good man gonna do? LOL

Spit

2011-10-30T07:35:00.000-07:00

It's many things that are annoying here. I met up with some friends for a costume party yesterday. I didn't dress up because I find it odd to gather in a small house and sit around with several other professionals and wear odd clothes. I'm sorry, but I've growed out of that. I just don't see myself doing it ever again. Perhaps, but not in Korea. They's too many other weird things around me. I don't wanna dress up weird.

We got to talking about how some things here are just so odd. The most common thing that people brung up was spitting. Guys and sometimes even girls in miniskirts decide that they want to spit. I mean..., they just spit everwhere they want. They have no care in the world. It is strange to be sitting in a restaurant and have someone just spit on the floor next to you. Then you look up at them and they are dressed up in their Sunday best. One has to wonder.

I find the several puke piles at the ground on the way to work more annoying. I'm rather tired of the morning and I don't wanna pay attention. So, if I ain't a lookin' out, I find myself with a few chunks at the bottom of my shoes. Nasty! I druther have a few spit spots than a few piles of puke. It is out of control. One time I saw a guy sleeping in his suit outside my house. He just slept there after a night out on the town and then turned around and went off to work. How crazy is that?

Then they's this line of women in their 40s or 50s that works at a make-up shop. They line up at morning time and bow all together at the 8 lanes of traffic that pass. I've learnt to pass behind them. It is so funny to me. you should see them look out of the corner of their eyes as they see a foreigner approach and walk up to what is just beside of them. They bow like robots. I wonder if some of them spit as they bow sometimes. So, needless to say, walking to work can be interesting.

Pre-Christmas Blues

2011-10-28T08:27:00.000-07:00

I hate that I am not going to be at 'home' for Christmas. Christmas will be on a Sunday this year. Crazy enough it come on the same day the last time I was in Korea. I hated that day. It was one of the worst days in my life. I just sit in my house all day doing nothing. Christmas is almost nothing here in Korea even though there are more people that practices Christianity than anything else. Weird.

I found out today that I will not be able to travel back 'home' for the holiday. I just listened as my co-teacher told me the news. It give me a different feeling on the inside. I dread missing Christmas without certain people. Of course, there will be others here too, but no Christmas party at my house. I do not like that. My house is far too small for a X-mas party. I have 2 chairs and some steps to sit on. They just ain't no room for a party here. There will be no church filled with people singing Christmas songs either. I like Christmas songs. Some are dumb, but I can handle even dumb ones just because it is somehow related to my most favorite day of the year.

Funny Things Today

2011-10-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

I had a relaxed day at work today. It was just a normal school day. However, some of the students are just so funny in Korea. It was one who come to my office to remind me that I was going to his class today. I go to each class about once every 2 or 3 weeks. Sometimes it is longer in between each visit. I opened the double doors and shook his hand and his friend was on all fours on the floor. His friend reached around and grabbed on to my ankle as a joke. I went to laughing so hard. These kids are 15 years old! Are you serious?

I come home and took me a good ole' nap. I need to take those these days. They ain't no way around it. I take too many pills. They make me tired, but I power through it and go to the gym. I refuse to not go. While leaving the gym I saw a Canadian guy who goes there too. He asked me about costumes which was fairly random. I don't know the first thing about them. I guess that since I speak English he assumed that I must know about costumes too. Just then, one of my students, who I didn't recognize, rolled up on his bike and said, "Teacher, how are you? I go to the house." Then he shook my hand and rolled off. Korea is so random. It was funny. As he rolled off, the Canadian guy said, "I go to the house too!" Ha!

I met with my language exchange partner today. It was pretty funny as always. I eat some 'pat-bing-su' which is shaved ice with sweet milk, red beans, fruit cocktail and ice cream on top. I eat it all myself. We talked about everything going on in our lives. It is a super fun time.

The More I Write

2011-10-25T06:58:00.000-07:00

I suppose that the more that I write, the more people reads my posts. I can't believe there there's people that reads my blog from all over the world. It ain't like they have stumbled upon my blog just once, but they've kept coming back for more. I've went through a long spell of not writing too much, but I will make a better effort to keep up with it. It's for me and it is for others. Iran, Israel, Korea, USA, France, Netherlands and who knows where else are all places that have frequent visitors to my cold hard blog. Keep coming back for more!

The more I write, the more I realize that there's plenty that happens over in Korea. I went to a hospital today and got a boil removed for free because I ain't from here. I can't think of no other reason why they done that for me. They give me plenty more pills for the other skin things that have been going on with me. I feel great, so I ain't complaining. Just as long as they ain't more annoying things around the corner. I'll keep writing if I am able.

Sometimes, I start to missin' home and things about home more than I should. It is when I have to go to the doctor or the bank that these feelings show up so clearly. I don't wanna leave this place, but who knows what is around the corner. It might could be the end or just the start of a not so cold hard life over here. My friend was telling me that he feels as if they pay him to be on vacation. I feel that way sometimes too. It sure ain't hard to work here. It is far from that. Work ain't hard at all. The more I write, the more I know this to be true.

Taking the subway here is a joy as long as you observe the random things that go on around you. Today a well dressed 20 something 'homeless' person was worming along the center of the subway today begging for money. I guess he went and bought him some new shoes and a shirt the last time he done his collection. Ah.. Korea offers so much if you just pay attention. I asked a random person about the water shut-off that is coming up at my house. I couldn't read the sign, so I asked. The guy was so happy to tell me what the sign said. These kinds of openly polite people are so not common where I am from. The people back home would answer, but not happily and with pure joy. These are some of the things here that are just awesome. The more that I write, more comes to my mind.... so... that's all for now.

Crazy Culcom and Cats

2011-10-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

I ain't really wrote about Culcom. It is a language exchange business that I like to visit once a week. I used to go two times a week when I first got here. Many of my foreign friends go there too, so it is a good chance to get out of the bubble of Korean life. Koreans pay money to be our friends which ain't cool, but they are cool. It takes a certain kind of person to be willing to pay money to have foreigners (English speakers) be in a kind of study group with them. We don't really study. It is more like a guided conversation about a topic.

I went the first time and they give me a language exchange partner. Her name is Li-ra. She is right cool and lots of fun. She paid for a few months and then we decided to meet outside so she didn't have to pay to be my friend. Now we meet a couple times a week and either hang out or pretend to study. It ain't for real. We just sit and talk most of the time. We share our trials and problems, so it is good to have a person to help in this land of confusion. We are a kind of cultural informant for each other. It is usually funny. We laugh that it is okay to slurp on your straw when they ain't much left at the bottom of the cup in Korea, but my mom used to knock me upside the head if I'd do that back home. It is pretty funny. They's plenty of funny things that happens when we hang out. We even had a funny conversation about spam last week. I guess Koreans thinks it is good food since American soldiers used to eat it during the war. Her foreign friend in Canada ask her why she was eating cat food, so we laugh about that.

They's a cat at Culcom sometimes. I ain't a friend to many cats, but my friend Justin loves animals and children as well as old people. I love old people and some funny children, but not cats. He is sometimes so distracted during the conversation time and he plays with the dumb cat. It makes me laugh pretty hard. Tonight, the cat wadn't there. I have no idea where it was. However, a Korean member of our group asked me to be his language exchange partner because he has been attending for a long time and ain't had one yet. I told him that I am far too busy, but we could hang out sometime. He suggested that he buy me Smootie King. I was tired, but I couldn't go home with the offer of a free drink at my favorite beverage joint. So, I give in and went. He was excited to tell me about how he is in the middle of making fuel efficient cars. So, more or less, I just sit there and listened to him talk about random stuff. It was still amusing. He paid and wouldn't even allow me to hold the call thingy that rings and flashes when the order is ready. Ah.. Koreans are funny!

Crazy

2011-10-16T07:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't wrote on here in a while again. Life has been crazy. I mean crazy. Things are so difficult here sometimes. I suppose that I have a love/hate relationship with Korea at this time. There are so many good things, yet there are so many things that are difficult at best. When I talk to my friends here, it seems that most of them think the same way. I ain't able to sit here and define what is good or bad, but I feel like it is finally time to sit down and put it into writing. They ain't much more I can do cuz having the same conversations with my 'foreign' friends here don't help much. They almost always say that they agree and offer up some random difficult situation or some somewhat funny situation that they've had to deal with.

I've been dealing with some sort of skin issues for the past month or so. I got these red spots that show up and stick around for a week or two. Then, just as I start to feelin' better or looking better more pops up some place else. It is quite annoying. I called off school one day cuz my skin went nuts and the school acted as if I done something really bad. As if I want this stuff on me? To make it worse, I feel mostly good. I go to the gym and have been feeling right close to normal. I just have spots on me. Korea is a country that focuses on outer appearance more than you could imagine, so it is not easy. I went to two doctors that give me a blank look and give me come cream. I knew that it was more than just a problem that needed cream. Luckily, I have people that prays for me and gives me advice or I'd have no idea where to turn next here. Health care is not easy in a country that refuses to accept that people need to visit a doctor at least once a year during work hours. It is hard to fully understand the complexity of this issue. Errr.

I had to work on Saturday which was a blessing and a curse. I got extra money and since I ain't got much left over from my pay from last month, it ain't been easy. Health issues cost money. It's hard to get around that. I worked an English festival. They was about 15 native English teachers who helped too. There were speeches, essay contests and many games. It was a long day followed by a long dinner with about 25 people. The food was very Korean. During supper, a really cool girl from East Canada mentioned that life here is like a movie and a dream. It don't have to be a good movie or a great dream, but it is a mix of the two. Things happen that are just amazing or crazy on a daily basis. I saw a lady selling bunnies at the subway station today if that gives you and idea. The day was so mixed with worry about skin, funny essays, great conversations with random teachers from around the world and sittin' at the floor eating tofu and b-que pork.

I applied to a dream job and got an interview. So, I took the subway to the center of 'foreign' Korea in order to get a suit tailored. It cost me an arm and a leg, but this is Korea and how you look often means more than what you can do. I have this week to get ready for this interview. It is the kind of interview that usually comes once in a life, so I have to do my best. This week will be filled with prep for it. They ain't no way around it. I got to do it. So, life trucks along here. There is so much uncertain with my job and with my health, but it keeps a truckin!

More Updates!

2011-09-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

So, I have decided to be more dedicated to this blog. It is for myself as much as it is for whoever wants to read I suppose. I ain't been writing much lately. It ain't from a lack of stuff going on. They's more going on here than one could imagine. I had a nice day at work. We had our staff photo today. I stood on a desk in the middle of the soccer field for the photo among all of my coworkers. It wasn't the most normalest of situations. Even the newest coworker that just got hired thought that it was right weird. I came home and took me a awesome nap and headed off to the Nepal restaurant down the road with a neighbor. I had the standard chicken tikka with some Korean rice for about 9 bucks. Not bad!

I've been pretty regular about going to the gym. I ain't missed too many days. I've become a bit more disciplined recently, but they's plenty of room to improve. I am far from being good. I've tried to do 5 days of Bible reading 5 days a week and I have failed by 15 or 30 minutes every week. I am at least trying. That is better than before I suppose. Couple all of that stuff with language exchange 2 times per week and hanging out with ever the heck who wants to at random times leaves me pretty busy. Busy is good to a point, but when you have these personal things that you 'have to do', it gets pretty darn annoying.

Next week is a holiday in Korea. My language exchange partner is hosting some of the jazz singers for the festival. Korea does festivals unlike no place else. She will make sure that they eat and are able to get around well while they are here for the festival. I guess that they are famous, but I ain't got no idea about jazz except that I got a free ticket and my friend will be going with me too. Funny times are sure to be around the corner. We always have random experiences. So, while Koreans remember that God created Korea as the center of the universe or something like that, I'll be at a jazz festival. I wish they had a country festival. I'd be there so fast!

2011-09-22T01:22:00.000-07:00

I am getting used to this new updated blog. So it tells me who visits my page the most and how many hits per day I have. It is quite interesting that anyone at all reads about my random life. I have a friend from Chicago who tells me that I am the most random person that he has ever met. I think he's pretty random. He rides a motorbike in Korea and attended 4 churches every Sunday for months until he settled on one or two. He has lived in Korea for 3 years and he knows only 10 words in Korean. He refuses to eat Korean food. I'm sure that he won't eat dog. I did for the 2nd time and it was might good.

Just a little post today because I posted a post that was empty and I figured that I'd put something in here. The empty blog had 5 hits. LOL!

Speed

2011-09-19T07:06:00.000-07:00

I feel as if I been I speed recently. Life has been a truckin' so fast that I can barely keep track of it. Vacation over Korean Thanksgiving was amazing. My job seems to be going a bit better, but the day speeds by there too. I ain't sure where the time goes. My church has become an amazing place. This of course takes more time that I don't really have. It is one of those things that just must be done. I have to try and take the speed subway train to get there faster, cuz Sundays are among the most fastest days of the week. Of course, I been trying to go to the gym too along with Korean lessons and lesson planning. This and the people makes my head spin. Too much to do and too far to travel to see this person and that person and to do this and to do that.

I feel bad that I ain't wrote. I could write a book over here. I decided today that too much time has went by and that I must write more. I wonder if this is just me dreaming of doing better. This has been a theme for me here. I want to be better at everything. I want my Korean to improve and that ain't workin out too well. I want to be better about reading the Bible and that has worked pretty well. However, I am in this competition at church. They give me the job of score-keeper. They give me a list of names of people that I ain't hardly never met. I have to keep track of how well they've done and listen to their verses. It's getting better. I guess I got the list, so I need to learn their names. I missed one day of reading for 30 minutes, so my team lost one point. I had no idea that the program was so strict. I am the score keeper!! I felt bad for my team. Perhaps, I will be a cookin' the American Thanksgiving. I imagine that!!!

So I went on the most randomest trip that I have ever been on during Chu-sok. This is Korean Thanksgiving. It is the day that traditional Koreans pray to their dead relatives and cook them food. It is weird for me. I just don't know what to say. Kids bow to older family members and they get money. It is just an odd thing. I ask my main co-worker what she done for the holiday and she told me, "I don't pray to dead people. I believe in God."

I went with my American friend Justin on vacation for 5 days. We simply jumped on the subway in Incheon and took it 1 hour to Seoul Station in the capital. We had no idea where we was goin. We went up to the ticket counter and said, "Two tickets to anywhere in Korea!" She looked at us and laughed. We knew it would be difficult. We were told that we couldn't go because it is 'too busy'. We had a plan to do whatever it took to get there and back. She sold us a ticket to a city that neither of us had ever heard of. Asan! We didn't realize that she sold us a ticket on a high speed train to a city that is connected to the capital on the regular subway. So.. we took the train and went. Of course, we did!

Once in Asan, we ask just about everyone we could in broken Korean where this was and where that was. We found our way to a cafeteria filled with doctors in training. This was some kind of university for doctors I suppose. I walked up to the counter and asked, "How much is it?" He said $2!! We were thrilled. We had somehow scored some standing room only tickets on the high speed train to Busan. That is the 2nd biggest capital at the bottom of the country. They's palm trees there and a world famous beach. We took the train in the morning and rolled on in at 200 kilometers per hour.

Once we got there, we met up with Justin's friend from high school and 6 others. We went to a huge fish market on the sea and picked us some fish. They told us to go upstairs and sit down and they brought us our fish on a platter. The fish come out on a platter with eyes and all. Justin's friend is Cambodian, so he eat ever part of the fish except the eyes. Brains and all!! We walked around in the rain and by the end of the day we went to stinkin' of wet dog. We jumped in a taxi so we could go and find a place to stay. We smelled of nasty wet dog from the heat mixed with sweat and nasty food. It was terrible. Once we got to the area, we found a dynamic university area filled to the max with people. It was crazy!! We found us a place to stay after asking tons of people in Korean where to go and whatever. It was a night on speed!

Thanksgiving day came and we rocked it out by walking around the 2nd biggest city in the country with almost nobody around. It was nice. At night the people come out of the woodwork again. We had some Korean chicken with cabbage and rice cake mixed with red hot pepper sauce and Korea's most popular drink called so-ju. Wow! It was just the first stop for the night. We visited two Korean style bars as well. They are the best! You get your own personal room with a 'air-con' to keep you cool and a call button to call the funny server. They gather around to hear us speak Korean and watch us drink their drink in a traditional way. They laugh so hard when they see us speaking Korean (barely) and doing traditional style drinking. It is an art form that ain't easily mastered. You have to have lots and lots of training to do it correctly. We also got a fruit platter that had some kind of mayo sauce. It was right nasty. I explained in Korean that it was nasty and they wadn't no mayo in the picture. They made funny noises to express surprise and then come back 10 minutes after with some more without that nasty sauce. It was classic.

Then we left there and went to a party store type place where we sit outside and drank a few more. It was funny. Everyone kept stopping and talking to us in Konglish. We was laughing so hard for so long. Finally some people just randomly sit with us and somehow we ended up acrosst the way in some pub. Justin was a dancin' with tons of random people. He had officially had too much to drink and I was a thinkin'... how am I gonna get him to leave. Ahhhhh. Funny! We left at 3ish and I was so glad to get out of there.

The rest of the vacation was equally as odd. We met some person from Uzbekistan on the subway and 4 Japanese girls who we went out to eat with . We went to a Turkish restaurant where we were told about Allah! LOL! I had fun with that. We saw a Korean old lady taking a bath in the ocean with all of her clothes on. We saw a grandmother doing exercises. She was wearing a mask and a weird visor. It was mighty funny. Ahh. I ain't even able to remember all of the funny things that happened. Finally, we wanted to come home a few hours early. We jumped on an early train and was questioned to why we were on that train. They let us stay. Foreigners here get the best of everything!! Being foreign in Korea is truly funny!

Korea

2011-07-29T05:35:00.000-07:00

Well, the rain was a fallin for about 2 days. I never seen it rain like that before and I guess that Koreans hadn't either. It was crazy. An hour away had a bus or two half covered with water. It has been easy at work. In fact, it has been too easy. I've taught about 25 hours in the last month and none this week. I have just sit there and chatted on facebook. Today I took me a two hour nap at work on the bench in the 'English Only Zone'. I went to feelin' bad, but then my co-worker told me that the 'foreign' teacher slept all of the time last year.

I am on my way to the East Sea. It should be nice weather for once tomorrow. It rained more there than here. We are talking about feet of rain at a time. It is crazy. I am going with 2 Korean friends and a friend from Scotland. It should be funny. My friend form Scotland wants to be an Anglican priest and he was a monk for 1 year. What the heck! LOL! That is funny. We are renting a 'pension' which is a fancy beach condo for 2 days. It should be interesting since last time I slept in a beach hut. I hope that I ain't fried again like last time. I wish I'z able to get on here and write more a bit more. I just don't think of it. Well, my friends are on their way to the subway station, so I better start to walkin' with my backpack and pillow. We have a 3 hour drive ahead of us and it is 9:35 already. This should be fun!

The Weekend of Glory

2011-06-19T02:51:00.000-07:00

If you was to ask me a couple days ago what I was gonna be doing over the weekend, I would have said that I have no idea. Then I was invited to visit a island called Mu-we-do. Of course, I'z excited about it. They ain't much time that goes by that I'm not busy doing something..., but this seemed super fun. I had almost no information about where I was going. My friends organized this and I trusted that they knew what was up with this place. I took the subway from my station and got off at the transfer stop. My friends wadn't there, so I found me a spot on the floor and used my backpack and a pillow. A worker come up to me and ask me to not lay down, so I got up and sit where he ask me to. It wadn't even 2 minutes after when he come up to me and told me in perfect English that I should sit some place else. He ask me where I was going. Of course, I didn't know so I seemed like an idiot. I just said that me and my friends was going to go to a island. He said that they wadn't no islands around there. This was a total joke because it was less than 10 minutes from the sea. That was really funny.

So, I met up with my friends and took the subway to the national airport. This place is right cool. There's a huge garden in it. There are even people that drive these carts to sweep the floor. It don't get no better than that. We continued on in a taxi and finally took a very very short boat ride over to the island. When we got there we walked a couple miles or so to the beach. We seen a dead beast a ditch alongside of the road and many random animals that was alive too. I was surprised to see many deer that were ready to be eaten. Finally we got there and paid $7 a person to rent a hut on the beach. Are you kidding??!! It was amazing. So small, yet perfect for the weekend. They was 4 of us that need to pack into this small place with all of our stuff. Luckily, these 4 people are quite easily content with whatever rolls their way.

This is when the day took off in the right direction. I took me a nap and the three others took them out a walkin' on the beach. God knows what they did while I was sleeping. I don't want to know! We went and had supper at a seaside restaurant and had some amazing food. Sometime during all of this, my friend decided to say hi to a school group as we passed by. This is totally a normal thing to do here. Then they invited us to participate in a watermelon and three legged race. I took 2nd in the first and they put me with the most tiniest kid for the second. I fell once during the race and I was laughing harder than you could ever imagine. Then, we were somehow included in this soccer team trip for the rest of the evening. We went off and done our own thing and were invited to join them for so-ju and three layer pork along with kim-chi and various other fixins. Wow! Just after eating they set up a singing screen and some microphones on the beach. Good thing they give me some so-ju because I sung a song with my friend. We were terrible. They still cheered and was more than excited. We were rock stars for the evening.

After this we went walking on the beach and through various tidal pools. I left a funny voice message for my language exchange partner and then slept like a baby in a tuna can. In the morning, I realized that I was burnt on just half of my body. I have NO idea how that happened. We went back to the mainland and took a few subways back to our area. Then we decided to go to and all you can eat buffet. It is a weird mix of food from around the world and nothing is exactly right on, but I eat my heart out. All I can say is that even this was glory and then some.

Fun Times and Then Some

2011-06-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I ain't wrote in a while. Time's a tickin' and life just keeps plowing ahead. I can't find enough time to do all that needs done and my random variety of sicknesses and problems keeps me behind all of the time. There just ain't enough time to do all that I need to do.

However, this weekend was great. I was invited to visit an Anglican church in Seoul with a friend. He is into that sort of thing more than anyone I've ever known. I never would have gone if he had not invited me. When you are in Korea, more random things happen than most places in the world. So, I went to an Anglican church. It was in English and that was a plus. There were world leaders from the English speaking world among the 50ish people. It was random.

Every detail of this two day trip was planned by a nun I had never heard of in a city that is 5 hours away. 5 hours away means the opposite side of the country. My friend knows this lady, so she was cool and arranged that we visit this place. We was greeted by the owner of a Korean packaging company who is just plain rich. I doubt I've ever talked to anyone richer. He let us know that we'd be staying at their 'guest house'. It was nothing short of a mansion. I ain't never even heard of a fireplace in a Korean house. This one had one and a library to boot. We toured a university or two with the dean of the university giving a personal tour. Of course, we had coffee with him as well. These are the things that only happen in Korea. This guy had no idea who we were. However, he give it his best shot to give us a tour and show us around.

After dinner with the host family, we went to a crazy expensive chocolate store and then off to the bar and finally to a 'singing room'. I sung several country songs which made them very very happy. My friend from New Zealand told me that he didn't think people like me existed anymore. It was funny. The really funny thing is he meant it as a genuine compliment. In the morning we went their house after getting picked up in a luxury car. We drove into the gated community and parked in the underground parking lot. I was shocked to see the crazy expensive cars lined up. We got out and went up in the most fanciest elevator I ever seen in my life.

Then we went into the house. The living room was bigger than my house. It was crazy. We was so awestruck, but we had to act like it was totally normal. This is not normal in Korea and I don't think I know a Korean who has even had such an experience or anything similar. We are talking rich and famous type house. Way crazy! We ate some really good food and then did our day of touring Anglican stuff. I saw the first Anglican church built like a Buddist temple. It was sorta like a church inside, but you had to take your shoes off. On the outside it was more like a temple. There were pictures of all people that was killed for their faith during the Korean War. The priest was more than excited to greet us. It was cool. Then we went to visit another church with similar history on a remote island. The early Christians would hide on these remote islands so they wouldn't get killed. The woman drove us everywhere and paid for everything during this voyage. He great-uncle was one of the first priests here. I could see just about the whole history of the message of Jesus within this family. What a great thing to have seen from the inside. Just amazing. The impact that this family had for the Kingdom of God is just insane. The largest church in the world is in Korea now. Without this family, it wouldn't have happened. Just amazing. They were the first. They risked their lives and the Gospel is rather well known here now.

A Living Prayer

2011-05-07T06:29:00.000-07:00

I have had a very interesting week. It is a long weekend, so life is slow yet fast. They ain't time to count my blessings, but they are a plenty this week despite my actions of selfishness. I guess that's what happens when you realize what a piece of crap you are while at the same time understanding the opposite. This is the story of my reflections this week. Just thought I'd share!

The last 2 days of the work week was spent in my chair at work in front of the computer. I sit there playing on the computer cuz they wadn't anything to do. It was mid-term week and 'Guest English Teachers' don't do anything. I was stoked about that. I've been sick and I've had the cough. It had been there for 3 weeks, so I begun thinking that it was just how life goes. I got used to it. On Friday, I woke up with crusty eyes. I went off to work and taught a total of one hour because the 2nd grade classes were 'going over the midterms'. Thankfully, I took myself to the doctor. I seen two doctors in 1 hour and got my 9 pills. I was back to work within the hour. Now that's some serious doctor action. I have pink eye and 'complications from the flu'. I had that 3 weeks ago and the leftovers ain't went away. I guess this is a threat to my life if left unchecked. 3 weeks was long enough. I give up on the gym which is depressing. I need to feel better so I can go back. It makes the week much more enjoyable to be able to take me out a walkin' and stroll off to the gym. I feel much better now that I've took all of these pills for 1 1/2 days.

Today, I woke up to a slightly crusty eye which was much better than yesterday. I cleaned my house and took out the trash. My house is small so it had went to stinkin' again. Just the slightest amount of food does that here. I done the laundry to make sure I had a clean pillow case. In addition, I have a friend coming from the Philippines. I met him during my two summers of missions training in Florida. Random! So, I had to clean up my house to some degree. I had planned to have a mat for him to sleep on, but my friend requested that I return his mat that he dropped off here 5 weeks ago just before his arrival. That's how my week has went. So, in 20 minutes he should be here.

Here I sit just a thinkin' about the random day that clearly had the hand of God clearly marking my path in front of me. I can't outrun Him cuz he's planned everything since before time begun. What the heck! Today after cleaning the house a bit, I went to a cafe called 'F-Hole'. No, I ain't making this up. A friend who works at the school just up the way on the same street recommended it to me. I went again today. I guess the owner is just amazing. He made every single table, wall and bit of flooring in the whole place. We can barely talk, but we sit there on google translate and chat it up all the same. I was told by my friend that the feeling in 'F-Hole' is like home with a twist. LOL! I know...sounds nasty right. After two or three visits I understand why. He asked for some song suggestions for his cafe. I thought that some Alison Krauss music would add to the folksy feeling he has going on in there. I told him about the song 'A Living Prayer' and he downloaded it. I knew he was Christian because some friends had told me already. He transfered the song to the MP3 player and played it. As she sung the first two lines he just randomly started to cry as he sit at the computer. He knows almost no English. Then he pointed to his arms. He had the most visible goosebumps I've ever seen. It was one of those crazy Holy Spirit moments that you could never doubt. I hadn't even told him what the song was about and he knew almost nothing about me.

After all of that, I met a teacher friend from Scotland. He's really interesting too. I guess his mom is in a mental institution and he is one of the only people in his village of 300 that has ever left the country. He studied theology and became a youth pastor before coming to Korea. We had some sushi before going back to the cafe for a quick cup of coffee. Good coffee is hard to come by here. Most of it is powdered and in a packet. It's not so good. Then we made the voyage back to my area by way of the underground shopping center that is vastly huge. After all of that, I'm waiting for a friend to come tonight. Life just keeps a rollin' along with twists and turns. Truly a living prayer this week!

Good and Bad

2011-04-17T19:37:00.000-07:00

It ain't too many times when I look back on a weekend and I think that it shaped a period in my life or way of thinking. That's what happened this weekend. It all started with a plan to go and watch some bullfighting. I ain't never went to anything like it before, so I was up for it. Several friends planned to go, but on ditched and another had to work. So, it was just my friend Justin and me. I was hoping that there would be 4-8 people in our group as usual. But, it was what it was. Then it al began!

I met Justin a few subway stops away and we went on our journey. It was a random and fun weekend with lots of turns that couln't be imagined. So weird. This is why we call it 'Dynamic Korea!" There's one thing that ain't a lie, and that is that Korea is just that.. Dynamic!

The final destination was a town called Cheongdo. This is considered a village in Korea and they ain't nothing there except a bull festival and some peaches. There are a several thousand people, but there's a old school feeling. It is not so modern and a bit dirty. So among other things, it is not the best place in the world. We got on the train in Seoul and it goes 200 and some km/hr. Very..very.. very.. very.. fast! We made it to a very large city called Daegu. I'd guess that there are about 2 million people there. This is when the crazy stuff started to happen. We walked out of the train station and tried to take a taxi. We got in 3 taxis and asked if they could take us to one of 3 motels that we had researched near the train station. All 3 of them claimed to either not understand or not know where any of them were. Then we decided that the best thing was to find downtown and get us some food. That was my idea! After that, we needed to find a place to sleep. Well, there are many a motel in Korea, but most of 'em are not exactly that! Finally we talked to many people on the street asking in Korean where we should sleep. Nobody knew what the heck we were saying. It was pretty funny. Then we decided that we were tired so we had to find somewhere to sleep. It shouldn't be that hard in a city of 2 million. We found many 'motels' and we went inside one and paid $30 for the night. Just one heated bed and a nasty bathroom. It was very uncomfortable and very hot on the 3rd floor. We opened the windows and left to go to a bar. On the way back in we noticed a random hooker sitting on a chair next to the road. Random!

In the morning we tried to make it to Cheongdo for the bull festival. Justin was obsessed with getting there. We asked the KTX train worker and she told us to get on tthe 3rd train in English, so we did. The train went to rollin' down the tracks and I looked over at Justin and said, 'This ain't the right train!" We were headed to the other side of the country to a city called Busan. When we got off of the train, there were palm trees! I wore a coat on the train if that tells you anything. LOL! We was there for 8 hours and see an amazing mall, fish market, harbor and many other things. It wasn't enough time, but we give it our best for a mistake. Finally, we went back to Cheongdo by train.

Cheongdo was weird at best. We got there and tried to get some food. We wanted some specific food so we walked around asking people where a good restaurant was. They didn't say! Weird. We finally got to one and we were told to sit on the floor and eat, but as soon as we started to sit down the owner run over and told us that we should leave. He hates foreigners! LOL! We found another place and found some more people who told us where to sleep. We went there and found an empty room with a pile of blankets. We paid $40 for it. Then we went to a bar for some food again and found a very old school place. The service was amazing and we had a great time. Awesome conversation and food followed by wanting to go to a singing room. We went to one, but it was empty. We sit there and sung into the microphone until the lady came and told us a very high price. We left angry! We asked some fast food workers for help and we jumped into their car and they drove us to another one. Same price, so we left! We'z so pissed at all of these rural haters. I was content to just sleep after that!

In the morning, we found the only restaurant that was open on Sunday and then took a packed bus full of old people to the festival. There was an old singing clown just a singin' away as we got off of the bus. Weird. Then we went into this huge stadium and sit right in front down close to the fights. It wasn't bloody or anything. I was expecting it to be nasty. Most of the time, the bulls just run off and lost. It was funny at times too. Then we were greeted by this extreamly kind family in front of us. They wanted take us to this wine tunnel built into a mountain to taste Korean wine. Keep in mind that it was just a random family who decided to give us a tour of the village and the wine production area inside of a mountain. Then they dropped us back off at the train station. We took the train back to Daegu and finally had a standing room only ride the rest of the way back. The worker would bow each and every time she come into our train or left. We laughed pretty hard since most of the passengers were sleeping and she bowed anyway.

Choices

2011-04-08T08:31:00.000-07:00

Life is so full of choices. I make the choice if I'm gonna post on here or not every day. I usually want to, but something comes up and I don't. They's so much in life that is totally up to us. Actually, I've been in a struggle to understand how much is really up to us and how much God has set up for us. I mean, he prepared good works for us to do before the foundation of Earth. How crazy is that! My main choice every day is if I will follow God or my-own-self. I am sure that it is true for every single human even if they don't know it. Or is it? I don't know to be honest.

I am at the point in my life where I usually know what will happen if I do X,Y or Z. What the heck is wrong with me? The reality is that everyone is just as messed up. Some are better at being able to hide it. Regardless of anything I do, I can't control God. He is there every time I choose to follow or to deny. What is it about this God who sits quiet next to me as I do stupid stuff and then is OK with me despite whatever? How can he tolerate such dumb behavior? I know the reason, but it don't make no sense. I try and figure it out and it is beyond me. I know why, but still I ask myself over and over. Perhaps that's why people keeps coming back around to Him despite our sometimes constant dumbness. This is in fact is not a choice. I ain't able to ignore any of this. So, it is not a choice. Arrr. I got the headache.

All of these things rolls around in my head over and over. My life may seem bad according to this post, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am content in the here and now. I have so much more than I could ever ask for and it's more where that come from. As far as I can see, only good has happened to me. Some bad things have went down, but in the end they've been good. Friends and family has come and went and so have I. I couldn't have guessed any of this when I was 14 or even 17. I've been thinking lately about even being able to think on these things. It just flips me out. We are so complex and it is really true that they ain't nobody who can understand our thinking or our hearts. I get so excited when I talk to people that thinks about these things at all. There's so many who just plunder through life without even a thought on it. This post really has give me the headache, so I better get back to doing something else.

Long Time No Write

2011-04-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

I've wanted to write for about a week and I just couldn't pull myself toward this keyboard to write. I've been sick. Sick ain't fun. I don't think I've ever had the cold that travels before. It started after having some nice cake at an expensive coffee shop. It had a curtain around the table and the ever so common button on the table to call the server. Yep, I ain't kidding! There's a server who treats you like gold as you take each and every sup of coffee. I felt fine then, but then I took the subway home and then it started. My stomach started hurting more worser than you could imagine. Then I woke up and liketa fell over from the nasty feeling in my core. I forced myself to get up and get ready. It's Saturday in Korea! That means your friends expect you to travel to the capital of 12 million and party! How can you not show up when about 30 people you know has been sending you e-mails all week about how fun it will be? So, I got up took the subway alone to meet up with a few friends. We went the rest of the way. When we transfered on the subway, I felt as if I become a tiny little piss ant. We crammed in and then more people pushed and pulled until there was more people than should be allowed in 2 subway cars. I ain't tellin' no joke! I had bodies touching every part of my entire body except my head and neck. Remember, I was sick too! No wonder people get sick so much here.

My sickness has changed into a sore throat, chest cold, headache and terrible cough with nasty stuff lurkin' in my lungs. It just won't budge. Despite this, my days have been filled with unstoppable fun. It just don't stop. I don't never get bored. It's just too much to do. My sink currently has egg shells that needs to be cleaned out. I'll get to that when I finish this post. School is just a job. Dynamic Korea is just a way to say that it is organized. They gonna give me the third monthly schedule tomorrow that I've had in 4 days. I don't think they can make up their minds as to what they want me to do. I'll keep putting on a content face at school. They don't need to know no different. I started my Korean lessons last Thursday with a Korean friend. We have a great time. My friends gets to practice English as I learn Korean so it is a bit of a language exchange. Free is good.

Then there is my church. I liked my church in the cold hard town. Well, I liked many of the people. Let's just say that my church here is full of awesome people. It is a bit crazy. The pastor is from Michigan. He likes Africa too! 9 times out of 10 when he's a preachin' I feel as if I'm the only person there. I actually focus on what's being said and it applies to me. I really enjoy it! Beyond that, it ain't a week that goes by where they ain't a dinner after. I even had South African food. It is 100% meat. How cool is that? Protein is scarce here in Korea, so that was a treat. We usually go out to eat. It is strange going to a huge church with 10s of services. I don't know anyone in any of the other services. Besides, they are all Korean, so it is what it is. There's a bible museum one floor up from my service in the education building. Now that's amazing. I want to visit it soon. I hope it stays as fun and interesting for a good long while. They ain't no other place like it in the world. I can promise you that.

Wow

2011-03-10T04:44:00.000-08:00

I went out to eat with what I thought was the new teachers. We ate octupus. The table was set with veggies already in the hot plate burner in the sit-down table. They brung more side dishes and I sit on the floor a waitin' to see what would happen next. The lady walked up with scissors in her hand carrying a octupus in her hand. She began cutting apart the poor little ole' guy one arm at a time. She didn't cut his head off. Instead, she dropped hiim into really hot water and boilt it. LOL! I tried to not look shocked, but it was clear. Then they allowed it to boil and put the head in my bowl for me. There sit a head and then they cut it and dark blackish stuff flowed out of it. Yep, I picked it up and eat it. No problem. I had to avoid looking at the blackish stuff as it rolled out of the poor ole' things head.

Then when I thought it was about over, we finally did finish. Well 9 of us was done and the principal continued eating in order to force everyone to remain there. Nobody can leave until he is done. One of his clear goals is to force people to hang out. It isn't the easiest thing to do regardless of the cultural 'work party' event that must happen 1 or 2 times a month. We finally finished and 4 of us went to a bar. I'm really trying to not drink a lot, but that is seriously all they do here. I couldn't say no and I really had no idea where home was despite being only a couple blocks from my main area. I give in and went with them. I mostly just sit there listening to them talk in Korean and not knowing what they was sayin'. Every now and then they would fill me in. I appreciated it.

Tomorrow I work 8 hours, but I have to teach 2 classes. So, tomorrow I'll be desk-warming. No problem! I don't mind. It is pretty sweet, but I am not looking forward to the time when I will be the only person in the building except the janitor. LOL! That's during summer and winter break. I'll just sit there all day with nothing to do. Wow!

One Hour

2011-03-09T06:22:00.000-08:00

I got off work one hour early today. We call this dynamic Korea. Things here don't make too much sense and most teachers go crazy trying to figure it out. I had taught my four hours out of a eight hour day and after the kids went home, they just told me to go home. I was more than excited. I didn't sleep much yesterday night. I went to a weird so-ju bar with a friend. They had Arabicish drapes 'round most of the booths, but ours was strange. We didn't get one. It was bright red with mirrors and flashing lights everywhere. Each light changed colors every five seconds or so. I liketa went crazy trying to focus on our conversation. The waitor asked for our id. We have no idea why! Perhaps he thought we were not 18 or he just wanted to examine our ids and figure out where we were from. Who knows? I was there for a little longer than one hour.

I went to the PC room which is basically a room with lots of computers. I choose the smoke free room. It ain't truly smoke free, but it ain't that bad either. I went there today cuz my stupid Internet at home worked well for less than one day. I don't have a clue why it don't work no more. Just one day. I guess that's better than a hour. I chilled there and then went to the gym for a hour. The gym is nutty too. People jiggle their fat on these random machines that once was popular in the US back in yesteryear. It is hard not to notice these strange things going on or the fact that I'm strange compared to them. Yep! They all stare at me. I hate it, but a gym is a gym and that's it. Regardless of the hour of being stared at, I endure. I'm back at the PC room for a hour.

After work tomorrow, I have to go out to eat with all of the new teachers in my middle school. I guess they rotate schools every five years and some of them get placed in schools that are really far from their houses. I feel bad, but that's their system. Dynamic Korea! I hope it don't last much more than one hour. Meals out are just what people do for work. I enjoy eating, but I usually just sit there and maybe pertend to know what is going on. Last time I sit there on the floor and smiled for one hour while eating. Not my idea of fun. Maybe I'll get to watch them building an amazing apartment near my school on the way to the restaurant. They just lift one room at a time with a crane. Nutty! People just walk under them as they are building as if there's no possible danger. Dynamic Korea!

Randomness

2011-03-05T06:38:00.000-08:00

I worked til 4:30 like on most days on Friday. I left and walked part of the way home with a co-worker. We stopped in at a store and I bought me a nice diet coke. I love them things. I also got some air spray for my stinky loft. That's another story! My friend took the subway the rest of the way and I went on my way. I was in my own little ole world drinking my pop. I drunk just about 80% of it and as I was waltzing along somebody stoled my can right out of my hands. He must have been ever bit of 30 years old. I couldn't believe it. I just kept going with the air spray in my other hand. I was stunned. I still can't understand what it was about. It ain't like he was a drinkin' or at least I don't think he was. Just crazy!

Well after all of that, I went home to my stinky house and took a nice nap. After that I went to meet up with a friend. He happens to be from England and we struggle to understand each other. Funny! First I went to Mickey D's to wait and I ordered what I thought was a chocolate ice cream in a cup. They gave it to me and it had cookies on the bottom with coffee on top. Weird. So then I met up with my friend which is saying something cuz hardly any of us have cell phones yet and most of us have no idea how to travel by bus or subway. Of course, we can't talk to anyone so that ain't easy either.

We went to lookin' for a restaurant and found one that serves pork b-que. We had ribs this time which is typical. I had to talk for both of us which was a trip. I hardly know anything in Korean so they mostly laughed at us while we tried to eat with chopsticks and act like we knew what was up. It was so many things that made all of us laugh. Randomess is what it was. We wanted to find some place that reminded us of home so we ended up in a Miller bar. The whole time I kept a thinkin' how White Trash it was. Miller beer.... are you serious?? LOL! It was so expensive too. What the heck! Then we wandered around and decided that we wanted so-ju which is their rice drink. We wandered into another similar restaurant and tried to order for one, but they insisted that we order for two. We were not hungry at all. That's what you get I guess. After that we wandered back to my house to try and solve the stinky problem.

You have to understand that I'd been there for over a week and I hadn't give up a single bit of my trash. It was like I was hanging on to it. No actually, I had no idea what to do with it. I guess I was supposed to somehow know how to seperate each and every piece of garbage and put it in this mysterious place. I finally asked and got a general idea where it was supposed to go. I took it downstairs at midnight in hope that nobody would be there. Well, of course it was 4 middle aged guys down there and they quickly followed me and stared and started telling me what to do. Well, it didn't help none. I wandered back and forth and he followed telling me what to do. So, then I finally got rid of my trash and it stunk just a bit less in my loft.

Korea

2011-02-28T02:18:00.000-08:00

I have not wrote a word since I got here. I been too busy thinking about what's next? Here is a list of things that have stoled my time from me.

1. Where's my training manual?
2. Where's the campus gym?
3. Where are my friends on my floor?
4. Where is my co-teacher?
5. Where is an umbrella?
6. Why is there bugs in seafood soup?
7. When can I skype?

So, as you can see the first nine days in Korea and the two after that have been amazingly busy and difficult. However, it has been mighty rewarding too! I was at a univeristy for the first 9 days living in a dorm. I eat dorm food (Korean style) with 400 international teachers and had classes until 8pm every night. After that, we had to prepare for the next day and somehow manage go painting the town til 1am. Yep, 9 days in a row of 1am. I liketa run myself into the ground. Despite all this, it was more than fun. I've pretty much never met a bigger group of interesting people. Lot of people from South Africa, Canada, UK, Ireland, New Z. and Australia.

After these action packed days, I finally arrived in Incheon. There were 12 teachers in my group. Most of the other cities had more like 60 teachers going to each region. We were lucky to have such a small group. Now, I've met my co-teacher and seen the school and my most greatest loft house. It is sweet! Living on the 10th floor looking over the city is pretty sweet. I got to see my friends from before and meet there 4 year old boy Jay-gwan. He's pretty funny and he tries to talk to me all the time. LOL! Funny! I ate raw beef and bug soup, so I been livin' large too. I went to a Western bar and it was lame. Just a bunch of idiot who complain about life in Korea. LOL! That's about it for now.

So Far So Good

2011-02-15T12:47:00.000-08:00

I've been stressed to the max the last few weeks. It's just things that keep coming up. First, the 'visa lady' calls and says that she don't have the right work visa papers and then I drive like an idiot to mail her some documents. I made it to Kinkos or ever-what it's called now. LOL! I get there and mail it and it still ain't right. I finally went to thinkin' that Korea ain't what's best or whatever. I don't know.

However, the 'document lady' who actually helps decided to pay for me to take a train and come to Chicago. Yep..., that's where I am now. Crazy! I took a train and it had some delays too. Everything in this process involves delays. I went up to the top of the NBC tower in Chicago and officially entered Korea through some glass doors. It was so easy to walk up to the counter and ask for my passport except the lady who is in charge of the visas was on lunch. It don't get more funnier than that. No matter what I done during this process, nothing has went smooth.

So far, it ain't been the best. However, it is far from the worst. I have my job and a way to get there and I ain't had to pay for the transportation or most of the annoying and bothersome crap. Here's the bad part.....! I'll be so far. I mean, Alasker wasn't even that far. Let's hope the lame airlines don't steal my stuff or Big Sis either. LOL! It seems that each and ever time that I think about going someplace far, more family drama happens too. I know I ain't able to control or fix any of it, but it sucks that two of my favorite cousins and my mom has serious health problems. This ain't been so good.

Fear and Joy

2011-02-01T14:52:00.000-08:00

I know I ain't been on here very much. There's been too many things going on. All of the things that made me busy have been making me not post. Well, it ain't that simple. In reality, all of those things have give me a reason to be stressed. What is stress? Why do we get it? I've had several converstations with friends about this stress that has been poured on myself. Most of it goes like this.... "I fear that............... willl happen and ............................. ain't gonna happen. So, I pretty much convinced myself and still got a few ideas that going to Korea is not the best idea. However, I'm also convinced that this is what God has for me.

So, I keep a prayin' that this move will be as good as the last. The Cold Hard Town was that indeed. However, the blessings were far above what one might expect from a lame fishing town with drunk people everywhere. I'z a scared to go to the doctor recently for fear that they'd reject my application based on health reasons. I almost didn't sleep enough which made me fighting mad. They ain't a good reason in the world for me to not sleep well. I do believe that there's less of a reason to be affraid of my health. The doctor give me more than a clean bill of health and sent me a screamin' out the doctor's office. There was something in me that wanted a problem. I don't know what that is. I hate it. I want things to go well and I want them to mess up. Perhaps, that's how I stay so happy all of the time. LOL

The joy that God has give me in the last 7 months is far beyond whatever I've accepted before. I am usually able to get that Jesus does what He wants and that is good for me. I'm not sure who or what stoled it from me. I'm pretty sure that it was my own doing. I somehow took from myself what God give me and then decided to not see it. The scary thing is that I was not angry about this stuff. It was just life. I hope that I don't never turn down that road again. I need to know that know that my joy is not from myself and was not produced by what I do and was not created by my mind or my actions. That ain't easy!

I'll keep a truckin' down this road and see where it leads. This is certainly not a road that I could have come up with my-own-self. I promise. I could have never made up my life. It is so random and continues to be twisting and turning faster than I can even know which direction I am going in. If you been able to read this entire rant... I give props! Peace out!

Visits

2010-11-29T15:09:00.000-08:00

I was raised in a family that visits. I don't understand having a life without it. It simply don't make sense. People can't know each other without it. Where has this idea vanished to? Where has it gone? Sitting 'round the table for hours is just what my family does. We might move to the couch or not, but an hour isn't enough and it is even seen as rude. I ain't got a clue how people visits for shorter than that. We seriously don't hide much if anything about much. The cold hard truth is said first and it is usually difficult, but hey.. why not?

I've had a few visits that were really cool in the last week. I'm lucky to get two good visits in a week. The first one was for a friend's 5 year old bro. He's in a Muslim family, so bringing a huge Christmas stocking over surely ain't never happened. I got a stocking bigger than him and packed the bottom with newspaper and filled the rest with some random gifts. When I walked in the house, my friend's mom looked at me like I was a alien. It was a bit funny. She quickly run off to make me some food and my friend's bro was super excited to get his gifts. She finally come and and visit with us for a few minutes. After all the gift stuff, we left and my friend told me that when he was 5 a Christian lady would always come over and give gifts and share about Jesus with the family. He's so thankful for that experience and he's sure that it is a major infulence in his decision for Jesus.

The most recent visit was with my mom's aunt. She's the one who is a out of control protector of me. She's barely able to walk, but she'd kill anyone for talking trash on me. I'm serious! She's just so blunt and honest about everything. It cracks us all up. She has a fairly limited understanding about the world, but they ain't a single important thing that she don't know for sure. Interesting how that works!! Don't ever tell her that you'll bring her something, cuz she'll never forget and she'll even remind you 3-5 times. It cracks me up. However, how would you know this unless you was to visit? It just gets to me that there are so so so many people who just about nobody pays any mind to and they are everywhere.

Rotten Apples and Candy Apples

2010-11-22T12:02:00.000-08:00

I've noticed that it's easier to find a rotten apple in a church than anywhere else. I used to make me mad. I would ask myself why this was. I'd get angry at the church. I'd question anyone who'd listen. I'd argue with people because I saw it one way and they saw it another. I've recently come to another understanding.

There's rotten apples everywhere you go. It's sad, but it is true. They ain't one place where people gather in groups where there ain't a idiot. However, the awesome thing is that it is easier to find and notice jerks at church because they are among lots of people that are far from rotten. There are simply more rotten people in other places. I refuse to allow rotten apples to ruin all that's good in my church. They are so few and far between. I love apples, and rotten ones are just what they are.... rotten. What else is there to say!

Candy apples are the best I've ever eat in my entire life. I am always willing to pay a pretty penny for them. I would spend 2.99 every day for one in the Cold Hard Town. Now that I ain't there, I can get 3 for the same price. It sure is different to pay 1/3 the price for the same thing. I was so much more thankful for that apple when it cost more. It is funny how that works. Apples come in all shapes and sizes and serve all types of purposes. I am so glad that apples exist even if some of them cost a lot of money.

Work and Worry

2010-10-25T10:24:00.000-07:00

I dream of donuts. What the heck? I took me the most amazing rest for 3 entire hours on Sunday. Why? I been workin' like an idiot. Everyone calls off at the lame donut castle, so I end up covering shifts after already being scheduled lots. The (sorry for putting they. It was a MISTAKE) money I earn is enough to pay for the gas to get there. Ha!

I've had lots to worry about. I ain't sayin' that I should have been filled with worry, but I'm human I guess. I wonder how I'll pay for this and that and how I can be two places at once. I noticed that everyone I know is feeling the same way. They's this thing called worry that is not a good thing. It gives stress which is worse. Then you end up sick and doing less than before. The good thing is that I give up on all of it about 1 month ago. At least for now, I ain't worried. I just go with the flow and do what needs done and that's it.

So, I met this random person from India the other day. I love random people. It was amazing cuz he works at a donut shop too. ROFL! How did you know?? No for real....., each and every time I've seen this guy I felt like I should tell him about Jesus. I see tons of people every day and I must say that there are only a few people every year that I feel like I should tell them ........................ Well, I finally did tell him. The funny thing is it wadn't the least bit strange. It was just a 10 min. conversation. I guess there have been a few others who have explained it to him, but he still doesn't get it. Now I have to find him a Hindi Bible. He told me that he ain't able to understand English that well. He asked me how much it cost and I told him that I didn't know. He thought I was a liar. LOL. How would I know how much a Hindi Bible costs off of the top of my head?? Really??????

Talking

2010-10-23T10:43:00.000-07:00

I've always been a talker. I been talking since I started. I'll talk to anyone. The problem with talking to everyone is that there are too many people out there who want to talk to anyone and not a single person will talk to them. Beyond that, if I have a conversation with anyone, I'm ready to keep talking to that person often. I want to know what makes people tick. These conversations often let me in on information that ain't to fun. That's a sort of obvious one I guess. Well, in the end I've spent so much time talking and not any time with any focus. I just talk and talk and talk. You get the picture.

In linguistics class I learned that guys talk more than girls. Most people were shocked. I wadn't at all. I knew it. I had a very long conversation with my co-worker about life the other day. He's just about the only person who freely shares the true good and bad openly with me at work. I'm glad that they ain't a ton more. It's not easy to give good advice. I give him the best advice I could, but I still felt as if I was being above the situation. I told him what I thought about the situation and then said, "Yep!" The advice was based on what I thought God wanted him to do and the advice was clear. He got it! The amazing thing is that I think that I got more out of his problem than he did. I guess I should have said that I got more out of the solution.

Nothing

2010-08-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

Today I tried to force myself to write something, but I just couldn't get anything to come up. I tried and failed. Failing is not fun. Even if it is in the smallest of tasks, it isn't fun! However, when you are not trying anything, nothing gets accomplished. I been tryin', but I get nothing in the end. Good thing that nothing needs to be done.

So, today's blog is about nothing. There's stuff on my mind, but nothing gets put on this screeen.

I'm Not Taken

2010-08-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

Somebody stoled my phone from my work. I think it was a customer. I was angry for about 3 minutes and then I realized that it made somebody's day to get it. I guess they gonna enjoy it more than I did anyway. It took my time from me. They wadn't a minute that went by that I didn't think about it when I had forgot it at my house. It was like a leash. I used it too much. No joke! In fact it used me. I give it my time, energy and money. For what!!?? I turned around and said to myself that they took my phone, but I got myself back. Ha! I'm gonna enjoy only having texting and a much lower phone bill. I'm not taken!

The news has really gotten to me recently. This 'white' stabber in Michigan who was after called Jewish and then a Christian Arab is getting on my nerves. I mean.... how obvious is it people. Wake up! He worked at a party store in Flint, his mom has a Muslim name (so does he), his neighbor says he was 'religious' and the media has kept a blabbin' about how he could be anything but what he is. Just google AP stabber story and you'll see for your-own-self. I tried my best to not believe it. However, it is what it is.... This makes the third in a sting of mass killings similar to this. DC then Texas and now this! Maybe Obamer will have another Ramadan meal at the White House and the stabber can go have a beer and make up with the nation. However, I'm not taken by their hogwash.

Country Done Come to Town

2010-08-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

I heard that song on the way over to my friend's house. It made me think of a visit from my aunt. I've only seen here 7 times in the last 15 years. They ain't too much for her to say. It seems that she wants so badly to not be of humble origins. It just floors me. Everything is about class and money. Why does it have to be about those things? I really don't care!

I heard her a knockin' on the door. It was not a good sound. I knew that it would be awkward and she'd inquire about my income and all other types of information. I mean.. I ain't seen her much in years. Why does she care?? Her life revolves about being what she isn't. She works at a factory and she wants people to think she is rich. She was borned in a cabin and she wants people to believe that it was a castle. How might she be able to get this by me? I know. It is obvious. She can't get out 1 sentence without using a nonstandard form of English. Arrr. My favorite from today was 'sightseed'! I mean really.. I'm far from critical about my home language. Whatever I say at that moment is what I say. She corrected me to my face the last time I went to her house for a family dinner. I said the word brung and she informed me that it was supposed to be brought. I mean really...!!???!!

So, then I inquired about my other aunt's church. I guess her husband is a preacher in a local city. I know he means well, but it certainly isn't my idea of a relevant church. I asked if it was more of a northern or southern style Free Will Baptist church. She turned around and told me that it was northern. I liketa fell on the floor. I mean.... really? All of the people that goes are from the south except the preacher. It was a direct slam on the family church which is very very hillbilly. They don't care either. It just is what it is. I told her that I enjoy going to the family church for special events. I like the music. I then told her that I like my church too. After all, that's why I go there!

Torn

2010-06-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

I'm a torn person. I want this and want that which leads to not wanting this or that. I want to live in odd places. I like living in odd places. After some time, I start to feelin' like I don't wanna live in those places. Arrr. I want to live in Detroit, yet I don't wanna live here. I am content serving donuts and then I get annoyed serving donuts. I wanna find another church and then I don't want to find another church. I wanna go on vacation and then I decide I'd rather spend time here. Why????????

Yesterday I sit on a chair for several hours looking at jobs. I never applied for a one. Why?? It takes so long to fill out these stupid applications and then I never hear anything back. I've decided that I'm here because that is where I am supposed to be. I could change it, but it wouldn't do any good. I'd be brought back here at some point. I made the very very difficult decision to leave my job in the cold hard town just to wanna go back. So, here is sit again in front of the computer. I ain't doing anything constructive. The car needs washed and the clothes needs to be folded, but here is sit.

I'm just eager to find out what the next few months brings. I have no idea what it will be. I'd like to go to a cold bright place where the sun shines and the birds sing. However, I am quite sure that it will be some place else. First I have to get my eyes fixed. I'm a scared more than anybody knows, but I hear it is worth it. Perhaps I'll be able to see the world in a more brighter way.

More Time

2010-06-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

It seems to me that I have way too much time. I worked so much up there in the cold hard town that I became used to it. Now, I ain't got a real job and the days seem long. I can't say that I'm bored. They's too much to do. I remember listening to people who didn't work say, "I'm so busy." It used to kill me. What were they thinking? Now I know that they were busy doing other important things. Stuff needs done no matter if you have a 'job' or not.

The more time I'm away from the cold hard town, I miss it. There are more things about the place that bother me than those that I really like. It ain't like I can change the annoying things. They just are what they are. Knowing every single person who you might pass at the grocery store is annoying to me. I wanna be in a place where I don't know everyone. Knowing some people is good, but not every single one. Putting a diet pop in the buggy and having 3 people mention it the next day is an odd feeling. Why do they care? What do I miss? I miss the people that are so real. You know if someone is a jerk or not there within a few times of chatting it up. There is much less pretending because you can't there. Everything is in the open. People in the cities needs to learn how to do that. Just be real!!

I need more time to find a job before I'm jobless. It certainly ain't fun to be jobless. I mean... I have a lame job, but it is far too lame to make a living. Time slips by so fast and every day an opportunity goes away. I know that if I keep a lookin', I'll find something cool. Who knows what's next?

Time without a shower in your house is very annoying. I 'need' a shower every single day. It makes the whole day work out better for me. I don't feel nasty! Who wants that? Hopefully, time will fix this. I will make more of an effort to post more often. It has been a long time since I last wrote.

Distance Time and Place

2010-04-18T00:18:00.000-07:00

I find myself thinking about these three things. I just can't help from thing of them. I am stuck sometimes. My mind might drift, but it comes right back where it started. Distance is the one thing that I can come to grips with myownself. I understand it. I know that if I am far from someone, I ain't gonna see them. It is crystal clear. It first hit me when I went to Quebec for the first time in high school. I'z there for just one month and then gone. I knew right then that I wadn't gonna see most of them people again. It was before facebook and e-mail had come out, but I was not really into technology and I seen it as a bothersome thing to even try and stay in contact with people. They's 3 or 4 that I kept in contact with , but the distance between us was the first thing that kept us apart. Now, I'm away from everyone. There's 2,200 people here. I bet they's that many people within walking distance of my house back home. What a difference!!

Time goes by and time goes by. There's some people that dies and some more that are born. Time lets me improve and time allows me to not do what I could have because of my laziness. Time apart from people often lets people start to driftin'. They may not drift because the people want to drift, but they drift because time passes. I can't think of many lines that anyone has ever said to me that I 'member word for word. I do remember 'There's no such thing as quality time spent with people. All time spent together is quality." That's more truer than anything that anyone has ever said. It's been time since I last wrote a blog. Time passes. So much happens. I can't even begin to write down all of the things that I've experienced. Just know that this place is very very very much like all places and very very very unlike all other places. I've never passed an amount of time anywhere that has showed me more about more.

Why do I get attached to places so quickly? I like my seat at church, my kitchen table and so many other unnamed places. Places remind me of times spent with people. I love doing new things and then get pissed at myself for being selfish for allowing time and distance to separate me from those people. If I'z to leave this place, I'd miss it. I will leave at some point. I'll travel a distance farther than most people has ever traveled. Then, despite doing such a cool thing, I'll feel bad for what I can't control on the other side of the world. The places with no food, shelter, transportation and clean water are a place too. It's places like this that keep my mind a thinkin'. I can do little or nothing to change most things. I'm stuck. If I go, I'll again be stuck. It might sound as if this is a depressed ranting. It ain't. These are just some realities of life. Actually, I'm pretty content.

So Sure

2010-03-16T23:18:00.000-07:00

I've not been writing much in the last few weeks. Being on break would seem to be a time when writing would happen more. Well, that didn't happen. You might ask, "What did happen?"

I guess I become sick the day after school let out. I'z able to make it a couple of days when I was sure that I'd be healthy for the whole vacation. I was excited to have the first at home vacation with nothing 'planned' since high school. I was in a group of people who organized a local festival, so they's more than enough of events to attend. Just as this festival ended, a group of three guys from the biggest church in Alaska came to the DLG Christian Youth Center. I've been drug onto the board. They ain't nobody else to do it. At least...., that is how I viewed it when I started to workin' there.

The days seemed to come and go so fast. I layed in bed in the morning most of the 14 days off barely able to get out of bed. My head was a hurtin' and my throat hurt unlike none other. I 'member thinking that I couldn't even make me some oatmeal in the morning. I drug myself out of bed and done what needed to be done in order to raise funds for the youth center. We worked so hard making homemade pretzels, pizzas, pudding, burritos, nachos and countless other foods and drinks. The leaders come together and worked despite our shortcomings. I was so unsure if it was worth all of the preparation. However, I realized after 2 long nights of selling things at events that all of our planning was well worth the effort. I was somehow now sick while I was serving. However, it quickly hit me when we finished. It was busy. The biggest event of the town was certainly in front of me.

Then the festival came to a end and I remained sick. My throat was still a hurtin' and my chest, throat and neck went to hurtin' unlike none other. I had the cold that was unstoppable. Then the team arrived. They had no idea even 3 days before that they'd end up in DLG. They were supposed to go to Costa Rica. There was a point when they was so sure that they'd be there. However, they ended up here. I tried my best to be there as much at the youth center despite my sickness. They cleaned the basement out, covered the broken windows, patched the holes in the walls, cooked, cut wood, organized the office and basement, painted doors and many other things. Our leaders at the youth center had never met them. Most of all, they taught and hung out with the kids.

I was in a small group yesterday when we read a question about when the last time was that we were sure that the Holy Spirit was present. I was shocked at how easily I had an answer. I am so sure that He was active in our lives. The kids were greatly impacted by the team. They spent only about 15 hours with them, but it impacted them greatly. I am so sure how God can work within people. I was almost unable to work during this time. They's kids' lives that changed through such a small yet enormous visit. They seen clearly that there was no other reason for the visit other than the Gospel. It's been a while since I been so sure of this. However, it is what it is!!

A Bit Much

2010-03-04T23:33:00.000-08:00

It is finally time to take a break from work. I've worked since I got to the cold hard town ever bit of 55 hours a week plus. I put in time at school and I've took two classes of my own. There's just a sea of papers that waits for me all of the time. I did right close to nothing today at work with the idea that tonight would be jammed packed full of tasks.

First, I left school to go down to the university for my class. I only managed to stay there for half of my class. I knew that I was supposed to be somewhere else halfway through the class. I just signed out of the online class and walked to an event at the elementary school. You see.... this festival has consumed me in most ways for the last month or so. I've went to several meetings and made pretzels and pizzas until I couldn't see right no more. Trying to plan and plan and plan what people might buy for snacks at a talent show ain't usually what I do for fun. They's 1/10th of the town there. With 10 helpers a workin' we wadn't able to keep up with the sales. There was kids walking up to us with a few dollars pointing and adults trying to keep their clan happy with a purchase of a pop. Keep in mind, almost everything we sold was hand-made. Lots of work.

When we left, there was a blizzard a blowin' unlike I've ever seen in my life. I was almost unable to carry a menu board across the parking lot while I was loading things into the cars. I hollered that I'd be right out and they left. I was stuck in a blizzard. I couldn't see 3 feet in front of me. I went to walking without a clear idea of where home was. I knew it wasn't far since I live just across the street. Just as I approached the road, a car stopped and an older Yu'pik man offered a ride. I told him that I only live across the street. Wow!

I got here and got some food from another festival meal over at the bingo hall. I never dreamt that they's more that was going to happen. The phone rung and the cold hard town had bad news. Here I sit in the living room of my friend. They just went to find someone in the cold hard town who was having a cold hard night a bit far off in the vast tundra. Times are tough for some here. Selling a pizza or two don't seem like it solves much. However, they's so many problems that needs help. Forget the papers that I grade and forget the rest. The phone rings too much here. I know that other people I know have felt the same way back home. Too much sometimes is a bit much for people. Pain and bad news seems to follow us all.

Smelt Smelt

2010-02-14T22:59:00.000-08:00

Today was a totally random yet not so random day. I decided that I should sleep in and hope for a ride to church from somebody. I had told my usual ride that they wasn't no way I was going to wake up 2 1/2 hours early in order to get to church. I woke up at a reasonable time and noticed that my eye was a hurtin' unlike I have ever felt in my life. It felt as if somebody was a gonna push my eye clear out of my head with a fork. Not a good thing! My friends came and we rode to church.

Church was very interesting with several odd things concerning one not so interesting churchgoer. He was a rantin and a ravin about nonsense as I walked through the door. I found my way to a nice piece of strawberry cake and sit down. The not so perfected music started and the people went to singin songs that were right on in every way. I like how I can look back on the service and remember how people just sung from where it matters rather than how perfect the 'band' was. There's something to be said for that.

I went on to a friend's house. We decided to go on snowmachines and do some smelt fishing. I didn't have no license so I wadn't able to fish. We took off into the tundra on the snow-go at 60 mph or so. I felt as if my nose was going to freeze off. My goggles pushed my glasses and my hands were cold despite my well worn gloves. I seen the most beautifulest mountains, sky and snow I ever seen in my life. When we got to the ice fishing spot I caught a smell of smelt. They smelt like a box of veggies that were a few days old. They's about 15 of us that went including a newborn and two young'uns less than 5 years old. Only one kid caught one smelt. We went home cold and hungry. The ride home was much colder than the 37 degree ride out. I bet the temperature had went down a good 10 or so degrees. This was a day that I could have never smelt from a mile away.

Seeds of Life

2010-02-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

I've been spending the last couple days communicating with this one and that one back home. I got a text from my sister that said that my mom was going back to the hospital. I didn't think too much about it. I give it about 10 seconds thought. It ain't like she hadn't spent the last week there. I figured that it was more of the same thing. However, it wadn't so simple. I guess that she ate some pie during the day that she was out of the hospital. Well, they's a ton of seeds in the strawberry pie and those tiny little seeds set in the most smallest of places in her digestive path. Not good! She ate that and about 24 hours after, she felt as if she was about to die. Within 36 hours she was in surgery to remove all that those seeds had done.

I find seeds to be some of the most interesting things that God ever made. They can be put in the ground and grow up to be a huge redwood tree. I guess that they can find theirselves in a tiny little hole and cause hell inside someone. I never dreamt that something like that could happen so fast. It sure don't take too long for a tiny seed to cause such a problem, yet it takes hundreds of years for a tiny seed to grow into a huge tree.

I been a thinkin' about seeds a whole lot lately. I guess the most smallest thing really can cause the best or worst things in our lives. I wonder why this is possible. If this is done, then that will happen. The rules of cause and effect are very interesting. Hopefully, life will take some good turns for me and some others that I know. Why does people get the chance to plant seeds even if they will not sprout? What about them seeds that grow to be redwoods? I don't know!

Down Home Up North & Out Of Control

2010-02-06T22:54:00.000-08:00

I've had a week of trials up here in this cold hard town. My mom has been sick with heart issues for about 5 years and this week was certainly not a good time. Thankfully I've managed to make this home up north like down home. I bring down home with me where ever I go. I 'member when I went to South Korea. I brung this cd mix with me of all my favorite songs. I pulled out that cd last night. Me and a friend visit for about 2 hours after going out to eat. This cd took me back home. Neither one of is from here, so we just sit around and talked about life down home compared with life up north. They's so many things that are going on in our lives down home and we feel a bit stuck and powerless up here.

When I was walking to school on Friday, I liketa fell about 5 times. Just when I thought that I was about to get my balance back, something almost swept me right back down at the ground. I've only really fell once so far to where I got hurt. I jumped up within 3 seconds as if nothing had happened. However, as I was watching a 3 hour presentation in the gym my back started to hurting unlike anything I've ever felt before. I just crept up on me. It felt as if someone had pulled me by the hair of the head and swung my head around a few times. It was not a good feeling. My neck and back really took a beating and has hurt since.

Mom was in the hospital for the last week. I asked her if she thought that I should come back during spring break. She told me that it was a stupid idea and I should save my money. She said they give her morphine a few times in the last few hours, so I figured it wadn't a good thing. I ended up calling a couple people who she had asked me to call for her. It was odd to try and tell them what was going on within a few miles of where they were from all the way up north. I had right close to no details. Those phone calls is what inspired the title of this blog. I wish that I could be down home, but I'm still up here waiting for June. It is at that time that I will go down home.

Mix and Match

2010-01-30T15:22:00.000-08:00

I made another pot of soup unlike all the rest that I've ever made. I put in a bit of this and a bit of that in the soup. It rolls the flavor into something like a thickly wound plait. All the flavors are so close together. No matter how I mix the soups, they ain't never the same. I can get right close, but it ain't never exactly what I've done in the past. I need to get me come moose so I can start to makin' some stews and burger soups.

Having a day off cuz I was sick was the best curse I could have had. I done so much. I was able to lay there and talk on the phone and surf the web. I even got some grading done. I hated being at home. I hate to call off. I 'member one time when I worked at Timmy's when I called in and told my boss that I was sick. I come in right after and give him a line about how I felt better. My stomach was a crampin' unlike no other time. I want to barf, but I couldn't miss a day of work. Yesterday, my friend reminded me of that time and we laughed. He reminded me that when I walked in I said, "Don't make me wear a hairnet!" I didn't even bother to explain why I had called around and then turned around and came into work.

I have had a hard time feeling like I match. I don't really care one way or the other about clothes. I'm well known for having the same clothes for a decade and not caring. However, without my orange jacket, I feel like I don't match no more. The first time I was without it, it seem like I had to somehow find something orange to make myself match in my own way. I still ain't been able to do it.

I had a very interesting experience in the cold hard town. The explosive gas alarm went off and I passed that info on to my landlord. He give me a line that it was cuz I had just took a shower. I told him that when I press the alarm it says 'gas 210'. I told him that if he was to look in the manual that it would say exactly what '210' means. I suspect that it means that they's gas in my room. If you hear that the Thai Inn blowed up, you'll know the landlord knew. Something don't match up in this one.

Funny Things and Things That Make Me Think

2010-01-29T21:13:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day in 7 years that I have called into work and give them the bad news. I went to bed early last night. I've been a workin' so hard that I've drove myself into the ground. I woke up 2 hours after I went to sleep and I quickly realized that I only had a minute to get to the toilet. I officially had the flu or something like the runs. I had to somehow have sub plans on my desk for a sub in the morning. I mustered up enough energy in myself to start to gettin' dressed in order to walk acrosst the cold hard road. They was this blizzard unlike any that I had seen so far. The wind was a blowin' so hard and it liketa blowed me over twice. I had no energy. I climbed the stairs and pulled out my plans and wrote the board work on the board. I then had to make it back across the cold hard road to my tiny abode. It was my first time that I have called in sick since time begun. Am I a gettin' old or just sick? I feel much better, but I still feel as if there's a brick or two pressing on my chest.

I started this class at the university just down the road. It is a very different university experience. I can walk down either of the two halls and I'm likely to run into 4 people who I know. Only 8 people may pass me. This means that I know nearly half of the town in less than 4 months. I'm taking a class called 'Teaching Academic Classes Online'. I had many a problem logging in and the prof told me that in the worst case situation, I could just sit in her office. Now, that's distance education for you. So funny!! I liketa fell out of my chair. I enjoy the class. I enjoy school. I guess it is something that makes me think.

I can't wait for the summer to come a rollin' around again. I feel like a kid for the first time in a while. There is so much joy for the simple things. Waiting for the next snowfall or the next summer vacation makes me calm, cool and collected. When I went 'down states' I had a wonderful time, but I longed to come back to where the 'snow-gos rip' and they know me by name at the store. I love knowing everyone. Time and distance erodes some friendships and family relationships, but not for all. In most cases, there's no such thing as 'quality time' spent with people. Time spent is time earned toward something that is priceless. There is no such thing as quality time. All time is quality. No time is more important than any other.

Problems

2010-01-13T23:24:00.000-08:00

I feel so isolated from problems here in the cold hard town. Don't get me wrong. The problems are a plenty, but I only see them on the surface. There's a form of bliss that surrounds me here. I know of problems, but I'm so disconnected from them that it don't make no bit of difference to me. It is a good place to be, and at the same time it is sad. I need to be involved with the good and bad of the lives of people around here. I am usually among so many people who tend to want to show that they ain't nothin' a goin' wrong in their lives. I bet they lie to their-own-selves. They's stuff going great in my life, and things that I'd like to change.

This is the first time I've truly been away from 'home' in my life. Sure, I done been around the world many times, but each of the other times I felt as if I was attached in some way to that other cold hard town. (It's frequently colder in Detroit than here) I am away from 'home', but it is no longer the place that I miss. I don't miss the roads or the city lights no more. I miss the people more than ever. I still don't want to come home. It bothers me that they's people with really really bad stuff going on, and I am not there. Do I seek problems? No, I am actually a scared of them. However, for the time, I am sheltered from serious problems here in the cold hard town. The people I am around frequently act as if they ain't nothin' wrong going on which makes it much harder to relate to people.

Problems bring growth. Sure, I've had little problems here that I've growed through and they didn't seem too bad at the time. I just sit here a thinkin' how I'll handle a serious problem surrounded by so many people who either don't share their problems or who pretend that they ain't got none. So, I spend even more time praying that the serious problems back home with so many people I love work out toward the good that we cannot understand from this side.

So Much

2010-01-04T23:45:00.000-08:00

They's so much to say and so many things a driftin' through my mind. My vacation back home was mostly amazingly sweet. I got to see almost everyone for at least a short conversation. I wanted to see everyone so much more. I wanted to come back here so much more. I got back and went to bed instead of bringing in the New Year. Instead, I slept for 13 hours like a baby that hadn't slept in days. This too was so much, but not too much. I had flew and was lucky enough to meet some super sweet people. I even met a little guy named Joshua who almost never cried during our 4 hour flight. He was right cool and his parents were also pretty interesting. In fact, we had plenty to talk about for 4 hours and even thought I was tired, I stayed awake to chat it up.

While there was so much to do while I was in the big D, there ended up being so much sadness at certain points. Despite the joy of Christmas, there was a cloud of darkness. This Christmas was the first in all of my life that showed light and darkness mixed together. Both family and friends give me enough reasons to reflect a bit more deeply about that day long ago. I run myself crazy while I was there trying to do everything, and a bit was missed.

Now that I'm back in the cold hard town, I've seen a crazy blizzard like none other. I walked to school with drifts of almost 3 feet in places. I worked all day long and they's so much more that needs done. My mind keeps a thinkin' on what I should have done rather than what I done. There's so much to do.

A Return to Detroit and Blog World

2009-12-13T23:10:00.000-08:00

My blog wadn't working for about 3 weeks. Luckily, I have a fearless co-worker who fixed it for me. They's been a plenty going on. Of course, some is blog-worthy and some ain't. So much has happened in the last couple weeks that I ain't really able to remember it all. I'll give you'uns a quick recap of everything.

Thanksgiving was amazing. I am not sure if I done posted about this. I slept a good amount and then I went to eat me some awesome food. It was so good. I think they's about 10 of us from work who got together. I eat some oyster dressing which was right good. Of course, I eat a plenty. Is there ever a time when I don't?

I went on a snow-go for the first time. It was amazingly cold, but super fun. It wadn't a long trip, but it was fun. I can't wait to buy a winter toy or two next year. Winter has been so much fun except they days keep a gettin' shorter. I think they's about 5 hours of light per day now. Good thing that I ain't depressed. I've went over a friend's house a few times. It is fun to feel like I'm at home. When I ain't gotta search for the plates no more, it sure is a good thing. LOL!

I went to a singspiration thing at the 7th Day Church in town. It was right close to empty when I come in and then it filled up a bit. It was mostly boring except for when this super sweet Yu'pik guy got up there and sung his heart out to the LORD. He did this super sweet thing where he kind of raised his arms that is a traditional singing style for Yu'piks. I sit next to my friend's brother who drew mushrooms and atom bombs the whole time too. We pretty much laughed to our-own-selves the whole time. Then, they done this lame reading of some Christmas story. It could have had a meaning, but I'z too busy laughing at other random funny things.

I carved about 5 moose legs too. We started out getting rid of the nasty crust that had dried on the outside. After that we separated the sinew and then decided if each of the parts was best for stew meat, ground meat, canning or steaks. It was so cool. However, my thumb started to hurtin' after about 4 hours of cutting. It was fun anyhow. I then went home with the idea that I was going to go up to the school and correct papers or everwhat I was going to do. However, I slept a 9:15.

Today, I went to the most oddest Christmas party I ever been to. I got a call from the owner of my inn saying that the Christmas party was next Saturday. I said okay not remembering that I was planning on being in Anchorage then. About 1 hour after I heard somebody a knockin' on my door. It was my friend who said that they was having a party upstairs. I went up and opened a gift which was cool and then they give me a card. It was a card with a note inside that said that they was a gonna give me a round trip plane ticket to Anchorage. I was happier than you could imagine. Super cool stuff. So, I'm a gonna fly for free. How cool is that? Thankfully, I'm comin' home for Christmas in 1 week for 1 week. I can't hardly contain myself.

The Salt of the Earth

2009-11-25T19:24:00.000-08:00

I was so excited to find salt half off in a buggy. I snatched that up so fast. A thing of salt can be up to $5 here in the cold hard city. I went to makin' soup and I must have poured way too much into my pot. I tasted the soup and it was way past salty. Nasty! Exactly how to I correct this. I added a bunch of water. I will continue adding water to the soup until I am able to scarf it. Sure ain't a gonna be the best batch that I've come up with so far.

Here in the cold hard town, they don't never use salt on the ground. I know that it would cost so much money to ship it here, so that makes plenty of sense. However, you'd think that I would not have to think that I was a gonna take a tumble each and ever time I step outside my work door. I liketa fell 3 times this week. Luckily, I caught my-own-self rather than the ground catching me. LOL! Just put some salt just outside the door and I'd be happy. It ain't even that cold here right now. I know that most of the time it wouldn't do no good, but man..... it's annoying to almost fall of the evening when I walk out the door. I guess living on a salt mine in Detroit is worth something. Cheap salt.

My church here is awesome. We had a community meal last week. They was about 100 people who eat a good ole' Thanksgiving meal last Sunday. It was mighty cool. The food was good and the folks was better. The meal had the right amount of saltiness unlike my soup. The songs had a tint of saltiness as well. I could hear people a singin' off key with the ole' timee feeling filling the room. It was super sweet. How does salty and sweet mix? Ain't sure?

Snow's a Fallin'

2009-11-22T01:33:00.000-08:00

I went and got me a cell phone. I like the fact that I can communicate with the outside world. It was amazing to see how fast the students got cell phones. I think 50% of the students in middle and high school got cell phones within 2 or 3 days. They love texting everyone. It is interesting to see technology in action. It is a real culture changer here. It was tossed on everyone at the same time and it has had a huge impact on many people's daily lives. Very interesting!

I went to a birthday party. I was fun I suppose. They's some cool people and that's what it is all about here. After that we went to the town bar. I had three funny experiences within 1 hour. First, I was asked to play a game of pool. By time I stood up, some random local had give my turn to someone else. I have no idea who it was. I had no interest in being there, so it didn't make no difference to me. Secondly, a middle aged local woman came up to me and introduced herself. She asked my name so I told her. She couldn't hear me, so I repeated myself. We shook hands and I thought it was strange. She went to movin her arm towards me. I figured she was going to shake my hand again. I hadn't a clue. Then she said, I already shook your hand. She lightly swiped my face and moved on. Weird!! Of course, she had been a drinkin'. Whatever. Good times. Thirdly, a guy local come down the steps and blowed smoke in my face. Totally reminds me of my Christmas parties. Good times. I totally enjoyed the situations and appreciated every bit of it. Just classic stuff. I wouldn't have changed a thing about the night. Totally funny.

Then I didn't want a ride from my friends. I figured it would be better to walk. LOL! Man was I wrong. The wind was a blowin' out of control and the wind had whipped every snowflake into my eyes. It was impossible to keep my eyes open. I could feel the snowflakes hitting me in the eyeballs. No joke. It is supposed to only snow 4 inch tonight and that's max! It looks like it's a gonna snow a foot. Who knows? My face was a hurtin' by time I got in the door. It felt HOT in my house when I got in here. I am still glad that my friend didn't give me a ride home. I enjoyed the experience of walking home. Great night and it was cold and hard, but more fun than you'd ever imagine. Good times keep a rollin' in. I'm lovin' it.

A Very Cold Hard Day

2009-11-20T00:09:00.001-08:00

I went to work today as planned. The day was routine except a friend happened to be the sub in a class that had the same prep as me. We went to my house for lunch and eat a random meal. It was so cold, but my friend mentioned that it was 'warmer' than yesterday. I'm sure that it was about 0 both days. I ain't got a clue how people tells the difference between 0 and -10. Nope... no idea. Cold is cold to me. We walked back to school and after 4th hour we both had prep. Well, I didn't do no prep. He had drew me a picture of airplanes cuz he loves airplanes. At the bottom it said, "I done drawed you a plane." or something like that. It was funny cuz he misspelled all of the words. It cracked me up.

After school he drove me to a motel where they were selling cell phones. You have to understand something... it is a big deal to have a cell phone here. It is a bigger deal to text. Rural Alaska is becoming a bit less rural and connected to the rest of the world. It is kind of cool I guess! I was so excited to call people and then my phone died and I was too tired to plug it in. I will worry about that this weekend when I chill out. I ain't done that in too long. I'm a lookin forward to that like nobody knows.

This weekend promises to be fun even if I chill by my-own-self. I will clean and organize for the first time. This is my plan, but I know that it might could not happen. There's a chance that something new and exciting will happen this weekend, but if sitting on the phone laughing with people is all that happens, I'll be very content with that. It is after midnight and I am still on this dumb computer. I must stop writing even thought they's many a thing that needs to be wrote down.

Where in The World

2009-11-13T23:46:00.002-08:00

I am here in this tiny town that is currently cold and dark. The sun shone today for long enough to see the clear blue skies and the mountains in the distance. I left work today determined to sleep. I had the worst sore throat one could imagine for the last 2 days. I woke up to the worst scratch feeling a hurtin my throat that I ever felt. I told myself that I will not feel bad today and I popped a pill and had a 'come to Jesus' moment. I hadn't been in that mindset for a while. I got up and realized after 3 hours that it was no longer there. Super sweet.

Where in the world have I let myself drift. I been a driftin' in so many ways. They's crazy things getting in my way. People gets on my nerves from time to time. It is sometimes impossible to do what is right in the eyes of people that wants to do me harm. I learned this on one of my TMI trips. There comes a point when what needs done is what you should do, regardless of everwho's a screamin. It is hard to get back to that point again. The point where you realize that what is best is not what feels right sometimes. Furthermore, what needs to happen for your sanity is going to be in the face of disapproval of some. Anyway, it is good to know I'm in the right. I have a friend who likes to google whatever to prove hisself. I felt that way in times gone by, but now I've done drifted to the right place. I do realize that feelings are also drifting.

They's things that I'd die to share on this here blog. Being in the cold hard town does not permit it. Some things are just so odd or funny. I soak them up. Even the odd things are positive for me. It ain't that the things are good or bad, but being sensitive to everyone is more important than sharing stuff. I keep asking myself where I've drifted. The place that I've drifted isn't nearly as far as where else I've drifted. Thank God that I have amazing people around me. I'd go plumb crazy without 'em.

Not to Long to Go, But So Far to Go!

2009-11-08T15:43:00.000-08:00

I am so excited to get out of the cold hard town. It ain't like it is a bad place, but they's so many things that gets on my nerves. I must keep my trap closed cuz word travels fast here. Even the good things can't be said without everyone knowing. So, the trap keeps closed for now, but I've got many a story to share when I get to Taylortukey. $80 for 4 bags of groceries topped the list today.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that Christmas time's a comin'. I will celebrate Thanksgiving at the yurt with friends which will be amazing. It's fun to sit and chill and not do a whole lot. I guess that's one of the best parts of being in the cold hard town. You can just sit and chill. I never got to do that enough before. There was always the 3-5 jobs, and school that kept me busy all the time. I do not miss not working all the time. Well, I do miss getting paid for all that I did. Many times I work without pay just to keep up with all that the job requires. They ain't enough time in the day to do it all. Just doing the bare essentials requires more time than it should.

All I can say is that I want to go beyond the mountains and see what's beyond the clearing. It is so far off in time, but I like to think of it as not so long from now. The clearing is where I want to be, but the trees keep a gettin' in my way, for I cannot see well.

Annoying Internet and Annoying News

2009-11-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

I was chatting away online when facebook told me that it was no longer able to connect. This happens all of the time at home on my personal computer. I ain't sure what is so different between this'n and my work computer. I can't play music on my personal one either. It is so annoying to only have cds. I get so lazy that I keep playing the same ones over and over again.

I love to check the news online. I get to see all different ways that people reports the news. Today a guy shot up a US military base. He was highly educated and had a certain ideology which is well known for hating freedom. I love to see the spin that the media paints. How dumb? Let's face it. He converted to Islam and he hates this country. He likely converted because in part cuz there's plenty of problems with this country. However, why skirt around the main point. He was doing what his religion often teaches. I don't want to hear the BS that it doesn't teach that at times. In many places in the Islamic world, that is the ONLY form of that religion. Here in the US we get a watered down version. What is wrong with sick people that are willing to kill lots of people at one time for a cause? It makes me so angry. First they do it and then the dumb media plays and spins it to be something other than what it is.

Nap Time

2009-11-03T23:42:00.000-08:00

I run out of work today at 3:30. I've seen others a doin' it and I got to thinkin' that I should try it out. I mean, I run. It ain't like I didn't go back, but in the middle I took me a nap. I thought I was gonna take a quick nap. Well, time slipped by and 2 1/2 hours went by. I pulled myself out of bed and went back to work. I wadn't there long, but just long enough to accomplish some tasks. They was the tasks that needed to get done.

Nap time was amazing. I woke up to find out that the GOP had took NJ and ole' Viginiee. No surprise for the second, but the first give me a smile. I don't really matter, but the spending is out of control and maybe they gonna give us a change we truly can believe in. I don't believe in a single thing that Obamer is a doin', so hey... one more thing to smile about. LOL!

Naps can be a total waste of time. I ain't sure if this'n was or not. I do know that I was right tired and I needed to rest. Why do I wanna take me a week long nap? Well, as long as the 'crick don't rise' , I'll be back at it in the morning. Let's see what goes down!

When You Ain't Never Right On

2009-11-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

Many decisions in life don't have a clear outcome before you make them. Prediciting what's a gonna happen when you don't people's hearts is right close to impossible. I've found myself going to others who I respect for ideas on what is best. I do believe that they give me good advice. I agree with points that they give and I carry out the plan that they give me. Then, what happens after ain't worth a pile of ole' rocks. I want to do what's right for those around me and for my-own-self, but they's so many variables a floatin' around.

I done my best to do what's best and it ain't never best. That's what I've come to realize this week. I keep a workin' and a doin' what needs done to the best of my ability and things fall into place in everwhich way other than the way I had planned. What is positive about this? Everything!! Even in the trials of life, they's a silver lining a showin' itself. Pain and grief shows us joy and good ole' times.

So, I keep a truckin' along the path of whatever. I go to yurt parties and fly to some random fishing village. I eat moose burgers and finish off jam. I walk in the cold to work and back for lunch and back again. I sing songs of joy and pain in the church house. I laugh until I can't breathe with funny people and I wanna fly farther away just to go no place. Random is the life that I lead these days.

Saturday Sleeps-Winter Keeps

2009-10-31T12:57:00.000-07:00

I woke up today at 9:30 am and decided that I needed more sleep. So, last night I slept double what I normally sleep during the week. They's so much that needs done around here. There's just no time. I need to figure out how the heck I can get out of here for summer. Michigan has the 'dog days of summer' and they got the 'dog days of winter here'. It is a cold hard fact!

Yesterday I went to the youth center. They wadn't but 5 students who showed cuz almost the entire town was at the high school for wrestling. We all left together to go up to the school and watch a few matches. There were teams from random villages and others from towns of 2,000 or so people from all over Alaska. As I was walking out to go home, I seen two kids walk out into 15 degrees without a jacket. They stood outside in the wind wearing T-shirts. I asked them, "What's wrong with you?" One said, "I'm from India, so I don't know." The other one said, "This is warm compared to Nome." Anyway, I had two coats on and I liketa froze.

So, here I sit on a cold hard Saturday. I ain't a thinkin' about much butcept what needs done and I don't want to do none of it. My school computer is home with me, so I can listen to online classic country. This makes me very happy. I was once happy about Sirius on my TV, but the tiny speakers can't play the songs loud enough for me to hear the songs in the kitchen. Winter keeps a movin' toward me and summer is around the corner in my mind.

A Bowl of Soup

2009-10-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

I been cooking in a slow cooker a whole lot since I got here. I ain't got time to cook real meals and it seems that if I put stuff in the cooker, it turns out good after a day or so. Beans, rice, chicken, salt, pepper and any type of 'mater' combo works right good. I just keep it a cookin' and it turns out super good. I made an onion soup by accident, but it was so good anyhow.

The soup has give me a chance to have a few people over for a snack and a meal now and then. It replaces the night out on the town in a restaurant or a stop at the Bell. It is nice to be in people's houses rather or in mine rather than in a restaurant again. It totally reminds me of when I was a young'un. We use to have neighbors over the house of the evenings all the time. Nothing big or special, but good times all the same.

While we eat the soup, my friends ask me to listen to my mom's messages on the machine. My one friend wasn't able to understand most of what my mom said. It made them laugh so hard. I just can't wait until they meet her and listen to her talk about nonsense. Her messages don't say much. I druther that she leave reasonable meaningful messages so they can really get a laugh. However, most of the messages are just a mumble here and there. So funny. No wonder my friends laugh.

My classroom is tore apart today. They just give me cabinets, but I ain't able to use them until they are approved. So, here they set and all my stuff is everwhich place you could imagine other than where it once(t) was. LOL! All I know is that I need to have me a day and a half to get myself reorganized. No big deal cuz it is much better than before. It just looks like the mixture of a soup that I made. All mixed up!

Yurt

2009-10-27T00:22:00.000-07:00

I helped build a yurt in the cold hard town. It was super cool. I didn't know too much about how to do it, but since it was a pre-made kit, it wadn't too hard. After going to church we had a potluck. They give the pastor a special hillbilly meal for being such a great pastor. They had corn bread, beans tater salad and such things. It was awesome to eat a church meal without salmon and berries. It felt like home which made me smile. After we eat the food we went to workin' on the yurt. A yurt is a kind of structure between a hut and a house. Super fun times.

I am at work at this time. I walk across the street to work and use the faster Internet of the nights. It is not that cold. I enjoy the walk. I take me out walkin' now and then in town too. However, the cold weather is a comin' faster than I can say. I see it coming. I couldn't imagine living in a yurt in the winter having to go to the outhouse in the freezing cold. I might have to make me a 'honey bucket' and pop a squat inside when it gets right cold. Luckily I ain't got that problems in the cold hard inn, so I'll keep a living large I suppose.

So, 10 people decided to go to Anchorage just after school lets out for X-mas. Well, about 6 of them decided that they ain't a gonna go now. So, that leaves me out in the cold if you know what I mean. I'll keep a lookin' forward to seeing everyone back home, and that's what keeps my world turning at this point. I must go back to the abode cuz it's already time to go to sleep.

Funny Times: I got my first e-mail from my mom. Her e-mail address includes 'hillbilly woman', which make me roll. It is funny that she has one and she ain't able to use a computer. Who knows? I guess this computer class is helping her not be in the stone age! LOL! I guess the apple don't fall too far from the tree cuz my address includes 'hick'.

Big Wind's A Blowin'

2009-10-20T21:44:00.000-07:00

The title of today's blog is a super sweet song. For some reason, I remember listening to it at my house when a few friends had come over to visit. It is part of my extensive record collection. My friends were annoyed while I was in my glory. LOL!

Well, I can say that winter has done arrived. The next 4 days has a forcast of snow. It ain't gonna pile up or anything, but I know winter has come if I see snow in so many forcasts in a row. The wind blows so hard here all of the time. Even back when I had just got here, I had to wear a jacket all the time cuz of the wind. The sun was a lookin' down and it wasn't cold, but there was still a bite in the air. The sun ain't up til 11 pm no more. The sun goes down at 7:30 ish which seems normal, but I know real short days are a comin'. I hope I don't get depressed. LOL!

The winds of change have blowed through too. Things are finally as close to 'normal' that they gonna get around here. I know where things are and where they ain't. I also know who is cool and who ain't for the most part. It takes time to read places and people everwhere you go. I sure have a lot of learnin' to go, but it ain't strange no more. That's all that matters for now.

I find time and distance to be interesting concepts. I been a thinkin' on them two subjects a bit in the last few days. Relationships of all kinds change based on those two things. When I was in South Korea, my sister found the need to communicate with me almost on a daily basis. Well, when I got home, she wadn't interested in talking too much no more. This time here, she ain't said more than a peep toward me. Then they's the friends who talk or don't talk to me too much and it don't make much of a difference whenever we do talk. Distance can be both physical and not. Both of 'em are the same when it comes to relating to people. If you ain't a talkin' to someone, things gonna change and they ain't much you can do about it. My pastor back home has said many times that there is no such thing as quality time spent with someone. Time is time and that time is meaningful. I fully agree with that! I need to see some real 'change that I can believe in'. LOL!

I Flew Away

2009-10-19T00:08:00.000-07:00

I went to church today. It was one of those amazing times that couldn't be redone or replaced. I ain't sure how to explain it. I waited for a ride and rode to church with a friend. A couple of my friends that goes to the same church are out of state now, so I was thinking that I didn't know a whole lot of people. This was true. The service was right on just as if it had been wrote just for me. There was lots on my mind. A few comments from some people were a ringin in my ear as I sit there. It is interesting to put life into perspective in the cold hard town.

I was super excited this morning. I don't know why. I got up and went out the door and sit through church without expectations. In fact, I had begun to think it was a gonna be a super boring day. Why do I allow such thoughts to enter my brain? I ain't had a boring moment since I got here, so why did I begin to doubt all that life offers? I was invited to go eat some moose n' noodles with a few friends. Man was it good.

These are the kind of friends that I have back home. We share common goals and views on the world and how it turns. We view life in the same way. Feeling at ease and at home is sometimes difficult here. I make the best of it and things are a gettin' easier. However, when perfect times come, they are cherished. I am so glad that I've found a few of these people here. It sure does make life super interesting.

After lunch I was offered a flight to a tiny fishing village. I think it is called Ekuk. I think there might be about 50 places to live and most of those places are not lived in during the winter. The dad flew his-own-self, and I waited a few and went with a friend. It was a super tiny little yellow plane. He had to hand start the plane. I remember getting in with just enough room for the both of us and thinking how tiny it was. The plane door wasn't but a inch away from my arm and I hardly had room for my legs. We took off down a dirt road type runway. I had never flew in such a tiny plane. We flew for about 20 minutes and it was super sweet. I never dreamt that I'd have been able to do such a sweet thing for free.

The views was totally amazing as we crossed the bay and flew over the tundra. The tundra was covered with tiny ponds and little streams. It was mostly brown since the plants have died. We circled around and seen a sweet Russian Orthodox cross chillin' on the hill. We passed another tiny village and landed on the beach next to my friend's wind powered cabin. We set net for some smelt and moved some random wood. It was super sweet. I love that things happen here that are so random and unpredictable. It ain't like I could have even imagined such a sweet experience to happen today.

I'll Fly Away

2009-10-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

Away I will fly. I am so excited to get out of here. They's things that I like and things that I don't. Mostly, I miss people like crazy. My great-aunt knows that I'm in the Cold Hard Town, and she keeps a tellin' my mom all about it. I must go there and discuss turnips and such things. I must. I got me a ticket today after talking to a few people on the phone. The phone has become a lifeline for me. Too bad that I ain't able to phone out. I'll be getting me a calling card when I am in the big D. That's for sure.

I guess that we gonna go to Anchorage for a few days before flying to DTW. They's gonna be 8 or so of us, so you can only imagine what it is gonna be like. Holy crap. So after 8 or so days in DTW, I'll fly back for New Year's. Yep, good times.

We was all at a friend's house and we smoked some salmon and sit around playing Apples to Apples. Everwho made up that game is amazing. I love it. It is so funny when you know the people that's playing. Try it out. I drunk some moonshine (sort of) from Georgia. Man, it was fun. We listened to some hard core hillbilly music. Man was it sweet. Then we went to the trashy bar in town where we played pool. They's so many funny people who sung old hillbilly songs. Don't get much better than that.

This morning I went to a COC church. Well, they was about 8 of us there. We sung some real songs. It was odd and sweet at the same time. Isn't that the cold hard town anyway? Then I spent a good portion of the day doing school work. I found out that I need to spend more time there. I have a hard time keeping up with all that needs done. My Internet ain't a workin' like it should be here at home. Whatever! My mom told me that someone back in DTW was offended by the word 'shit' that I said on facebook. This was reason for laughs between us. Man! Shit was an everyday word for me since I was 3. It is what it is. SHIT! Why does people flip their 'shit' over such meaningless things. They's people starving and they wanna talk trash. I guess my mom said 'shit' and didn't make it no better. You know that's how she rolls. Funny stuff.

The Ark

2009-10-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

Well..., today we got an e-mail saying that we was able to leave right after classes ended. The wind was a blowin' at 75 mph with the gusts. I had a meeting with a parent, so I called him and asked if he was gonna come. They said, well.. he's on his way. He never showed. I sit there for a long time. I finally went out to eat and it was pretty fun.

Then we stopped by a friend's house. It was interesting. We sit around a plastic tub that doubles as a kitchen table. Fun times. They had their wood-burning stove going and we laughed about all things funny. Then I took me a much needed nap and got dropped off at my house at 11pm ish. Yep, I opened my door and shit water was a pourin' from my ceiling and I live in a sort of underground room. Nice! Someone had left thier toilet running and the water ended up in my room. Luckily my bed didn't get wet so I'll be able to sleep here in a few minutes. Interesting night.

Thank You Todd Palin

2009-10-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

Today was a day that I may never forget. I went to a potluck at a bar. It was non-smoking, so that was awesome. And no..., I never drunk a drop. I made this little promise to myself. I ain't sure if I'll survive the cold hard winter without none, but I'm sure a gonna try. I done some of the most fun stuff you'd ever imagine. I'z hanging out with the elf, but she had to go back to let her dogs out. I rode with my friends and the elf rejoined me at the bar. They's many a person there to say the least. Of course, our principal represented with a shirt and tie. I sit at a table with some of the teachers. Two of them are from Georgia and they are super awesome. I took myself down to another table to sit with another friend from Georgia. She's right cool and very much from the south. She lived in the hills, but she ain't of the hills. But man..., does she appreciate them and all that they offer the world. LOL!!

After I eat a bit of a mystery meat and finished off my meal, I was offered a bit of beluga meat. I still can't believe that I eat whale. It was white and chewy on the outside and mushy on the inside. It wadn't nothing but a cube of meat on a toothpick, but it was interesting. I eat stuff like that in Korea. I mean stuff with the same texture and taste. Interesting times. They give all kinds of prizes away. Of course, I didn't win a one. However, they recognized all of the community members who contributed to the Friday fish at the school. They caught many tons of fish and donated it to the school. I think they donated it. They read off about 80 names and Todd Palin's name snuck in there with hardly no notice. I ain't even sure if most of the people paid mind to it.

I forgot my plastic bowl that I 'borrowed' from a friend to go a berry pickin'. I didn't turn around to go and get it. The week has flew by so fast. I have Friday a waitin' on me in the morning. They's so much to do and I can't believe how little and how much I've done just this week alone. I'll have a weekend of planning and correcting. I'm a bit excited to go with the elf to a study this weekend. We'll see how it goes.

What Worry Does

2009-10-07T00:05:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty good day today overall. However, I went to bed at 9pm last night. I wadn't able to do a single thing last night. I had so many plans to do this and that. However, I done none of them. Sometimes there's things that I want to say so bad on this cold hard blog that I can't. People talks so much here. It is nuts. When I go to the store I see at least 15 people I know. They ain't much I can do about it. It just is what it is. Going to bed so early caused me to have a good start to the day and a weird finish. I don't know what else to call it.

What was so bad about today? To be honest, I don't know. I went to thinkin on stuff that I ain't able to change very easily. The number one thing is that I'm here. I love it here and I hate it too. What can one say. I love it cuz the people here are awesome and I hate it cuz the people at home and awesome too. It is hard. I look up plane tickets in my spare time knowing that I ain't able to go no place anytime soon. I drove to the airport yesterday to take my friends to the airport who were going back to Ohio/Indiana. They give me their car for three weeks and another person offered her car for a week at the end of October. So, it looks like I'll have me a car for all of October. Too bad they ain't no place to go.

Things are 'cherry' as they say here too. I can't complain at all. My life is fast and I try to control what I can't. So, why do I worry on stuff that I ain't able to change or even influence? I know that I ain't in control, but I struggle yet. I am excited that my elf is a gonna go to 'church' with me. It really ain't church. A group of friends gets together and talks about stuff related to such things. I like it, so I kept a talkin' to my elf about it and finally she give in. LOL! Perhaps this will be something positive. I worry about this to as if I am in control. Why? I have no idea.

When I was in Korea I had real things to worry about. My mom was a flippin her shit and had super serious health problems while I was lied to 'bout it. I knew, but didn't. I feel as if life at home keeps going by just like it does here, but I'm missing out on stuff. If I wadn't here, I'd be missing out too. Arrrrrrrrr. Why worry? I don't get my-own-self.

Not Sure

2009-10-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

I am not sure what I am doing. Another weekend has come and went just like that. I sit here amazed at all of the cool stuff that has happened in just a short time, but then again so much remains uncertain. What is that? I don't know.

Friday was interesting. It was a friend's birthday. She's from Kentucky and she likes bacon. LOL! Her friend brung her a bacon birthday cake to the restaurant where we all ate. I spent $60 for me and my elf to eat. Luckily the restaurant give us a free piece of chocolate cake as a bonus. It is just so expensive here to do anything. I got a gyro sandwich and mashed 'taters'. It ain't like I eat something fancy. She ate a steak of sorts that wadn't cooked to order. We sat there and chatted. Some of my most favorite people were there, so it was good times. I heard that there was some sailors from Belgium who had sailed in by accident the other day. I was excited to get to maybe speak French with them.

Saturday was interesting too. I went to the youth center's fundraiser for breakfast. I had a good time. Some commercial fisherman asked me if I was in high school which sent me to laughing. It was funny. Um... NO! I corrected papers for a couple of hours. Man, did I not want to be at school doing that. I got a chance to meet the 6 people who were sailing around the world. They was actually from Cosica and had a kid with them too. So, they were French and that was cool. They got lost on their way to Japan after following Russia along the ocean. They ended up here and did a presentation at the university in town. It lasted so long that I had to leave. However, it was amazingly interesting. After that, I went to the elf's house to watch the box. LOL! There was no water for some reason, so we had to cook a boxed pizza. I came home late and went to bed.

After 3 calls from the madre, I went to church and then out to eat. Some random guy invited me and my friends out to eat. He paid which was amazing, cuz as I had said..... it gets to be more than expensive. We stayed for a while. I come home and made some black bean soup and came back up to the school to correct papers. I really did not want to be here. I had plans to work out, but time kept a tickin' and it slipped away from me. I'll make it up on Monday. Now, I'm back at school at 11pm getting ready for the week. They's so much that I ain't done. I will try and tackle more of it in the morning. I must go.

A Good Night to Chill

2009-10-02T00:42:00.000-07:00

It is chilly outside now. I guess it's around 45 for a high, but at night it gets right close to 30. It is normal for now. I can just see what's around the corner. I've already seen snow and that wasn't expected. I just know that we could get feet of snow within a month. However, we could get 1 foot of snow and not get no more for a good while.

Just a side note about work. They have these things called 'chill pass' that we give students who are freaking out. The name makes me laugh. So, you get a pass for freaking out, so next time... just freak out and I'll give you a pass. I don't totally understand it, but it certainly makes me laugh and it goes along with the title of this post. So, here's a little something about my work. I hope you enjoy it.

I went and worked out at school and then went next door to laugh for a moment with my awesome neighbors. I had helped him at the youth center for a hour today after school. I had no idea that he needed my help, but I ended up there. After working out, I reminded him that he had my food at his house and he let me know that he had ate some of it. I acted as if I cared and he offered me some salmon. It was funny when he overheard me a tellin' his wife what I had said. We laughed a lot about it. Fun times.

I had a potluck again. This time it it was at lunch. I eat some really interesting stuff today. They's some stuff called aguduck or something like that. It is basically berries with crisco mixed together. It used to be made with seal oil, but I ain't tried that yet. It was mixed with tundra berries and rice this time. I hadn't eat this exact cranberry type mix yet. It was really good. I then wandered down the long counter a pickin' out stuff that looked good. There was some stew meat lookin' stuff. I figured that it was moose, so I took me some. I found out after that it was musk ox. LOL! It was not so tender, but it was right good.

It truly is time to go to bed. However, I value my quiet time more now then ever. I sit at my computer and surf, read and think of all that needs done. I do not do what needs done. I druther have a 'chill pass' from time to time. It truly is a good night to chill in the Cold Hard Town. I am lookin' at going home for X-mas just about every day. I keep a lookin' for cheap tickets and they's some real cheap ones. I'm about to buy 'em cuz I am very very very very excited to see everyone. I guess I should chill cuz it is really far away and the chill will turn to cold before I make it onto the plane.

Sick

2009-09-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

The kids say that 'cool' stuff is 'sick' here. I am sick again. I try to stay late at school and grade papers and I often go back at night to see what needs done. I ain't got to look far. I could stay there 'til the cows come home' and I ain't a gonna see the light of day. I'm a sinkin' in work and they aint' no way around it. Just when I start to thinkin' that I'm about to get ahead I get knocked backwards a few feet. So, all in all it ain't sick. However, I'm sick. I can't kick this here cold. Meetings are draining me. If I didn't have them, I'd get ahead. I am not able to keep up with everything and do that too. I struggle of the mornings to get up and do it again.

What are you sick of? Does that thing also make your world turn? Is it a person or a job or a place? I so easily get sick of those things just to miss them when I am gone? I get annoyed so easily with this and that and I am not in control of any of it. Just when I get to thinkin' that I am in control, it all falls apart. I do not want to be in control. Nothing works out when I am in control anyway. I prefer that I not be in control.

Obamer Sucks

2009-09-28T00:13:00.000-07:00

I can't stand a thing this guy has done except approve shooting that terrorist punk in the ship a while back. What has he done for me? Nothing! What has he done for my country? NOTHING! Oh wait... he had a shit-ton of money printed. It makes me sick to think of the false ONE. He ain't what he promised and his approval keeps a sinkin'. I just looked online and seen the most annoying thing I've seen in a while. He wants to take away my summer vacation the first year that I've gotten to get it. Keep the kids in school longer so they can 'learn'. Well, kids ain't a learnin' cuz their parents aren't keeping up with them. They want the teachers to raise their kids while they work for the mighty dollar. Of course, it is better to have money than knowledge or a 'normal' family life. Oh... excuse me, I can't say 'normal' cuz that ain't PC.

It has been a while since I last bothered with national politics cuz I'm in the great state of Alaska where it is okay to have a gun among many other things. I am not pro-gun nor anti-gun, but I've seen so many people with guns and it seems like they are responsible and use it for protection and hunting. I ain't got a gun, nor do I really want one. Just felt political today. I am not sure why. I am so glad that I don't have to be PC here. I am just myself among so many types of people. There is no edge here. I love that about here.

I guess the story about Obamer a wantin' to take my vacation from me in hopes of 'education' is a joke. First 'No Child Left Behind' from Mr. Bush and now this! Arrrrrr. I am not happy about this. Futhermore, I support babies!

Stress and Work

2009-09-26T00:13:00.000-07:00

I am so tired right now. This week has been way too busy. I ain't able to remember all that I done and all that should have been done that wadn't. It is Friday and the week has sped by so fast. I come home with 5 folders plumb full of stuff to grade. I have dinner plans at 4pm and I am expecting a phone call at 12. I am supposed to lift at 1:30 and also serve at the youth center from 8-10. So, I have no time on Saturday to correct this huge pile of papers. I would like to scream.

Here I sit at the kitchen table trying to correct online work as I write a long overdue blog. There's so much to write about and nothing at the same time. Today I worked and then went out to eat at a restaurant. For two of us to eat it was $50. Whatever, it is 'The Cold Hard Town'. I then went to the beach for the first time. It was interesting. The cliff was awesome with the sand showing all the layers of sand. We made tidal streams flow as we kicked back the rocks from a tidal pool and found several moose legs randomly laying on the beach. They could have been from either bear or moose hunters. We then drove down a long dirt road toward a lake. We stopped to climb a hill filled with tundra cranberries and seen the most awesome view of the mountains in the background. The sunset shined off of the lake and the shadows was amazing. It was the most amazingest thing I've seen since I got here.

On the way home I stopped at the friend's house to pick him up a coke and he showed me his insect collection. He had stopped while we was a walkin' on the beach to pick him up a moth. It was funny. He also blowed snot rockets about every 5 minutes. It was very funny. For some reason he carried his gun on the tundra, but not on the beach. LOL! They's evidence of bear on the beach, but none on the tundra. Whatever, I lived.

I stopped up at the youth center after all of this for 1 1/2 hours. It is a bit of an escape for me. It is about 2 city blocks down the way. They's some super funny people who goes there. I enjoy them a ton. Who knows what that will bring?

I got a funny message on my answering machine and it was from exactly who I thought it would be from. I knew that the machine would get at least one crazy message per week. I was happy to laugh. Now I am not laughing. I must work and it is 11pm on a Friday night. I will do the least amount to where I feel as if I done my part for the night. I know that works a gonna be waitin' me in the morning. Arrr.

Lots to Do!

2009-09-21T22:49:00.000-07:00

I've come to the point of breaking in many ways. I spend hours upon hours at the school. It is a place of peace. I can go up to my room and work for hours. I ain't able to do all that needs done. I mean never. I also have so many other things going on. I attended a meeting for the youth center grant for several hours on Sunday after correcting papers til the cows came home. Sunday must become a day of rest. That's my goal. I ain't able to do it quite yet, but that day's a rollin' 'round the corner. The snows a gonna fall soon too. I want to pick berries some more. I run out of berries for my oatmeal because I wasn't hardworking enough to gather enough for even one month let alone a winter. Arr.

I decided today that I was going to go to a friend's house to watch a football game. I don't like football too much. I prefer hockey cuz it is of the Mother Land. I ain't gonna say that too loud here cuz there's some serious hate for Canadian miners around here. I ain't got an opionion on it yet, but I do know that it is a touchy topic to say the least around here. After the game I went to unpack a huge box of food that people back home sent me. I liked many a thing in that box. It was like X-mas! I love getting boxes. I get a little yellow card in my PO box and it is super awesome. After that I went to the gym at the school across the road. They finally give me a key to the weight room. I'z a waitin' on a guy to give it to me for a month. Finally, they give it to me. I was going to go and bother a neighbor and ask him to figure out a different way to connect me to the Internet, cuz this dumb wireless ain't been a workin' in 1 week. It worked and I didn't know what to do other than get on here and write a blog. I sit here now thinking that I must go work for an hour before the morning cuz I know we have a meeting in the morning. I am never never never done.

I was planning on hanging out with my elf after school for the whole afternoon, but I realized that I commited to working at the youth center at 4:30 and she has to be at the 'Teen Tuesday" at 6. So, we gonna have to wait a bit and hang after. I was also looking forward to celebrating a friend's birthday on Wednesday, but I got open house at the school. And no, I ain't ready. I know it is two days from now, but I simply ain't ready. Needless to say, the birthday ain't gonna get celebrated until the weekend.

They's things that I'd love to say on this blog that just ain't able to be shared. They's no point in talking in 'code' cuz everyone knows everything here, so I just can't. They's part of me that wants to share funny or droll things with you, but this simply ain't the forum. I'll be happy to laugh with you'uns when I get back for X-mas. And yes....., they's been 2 mentions of X-mas (which makes 3 at this point, so I am ready to see everyone!

A Cold Hard Night

2009-09-16T23:24:00.001-07:00

Well, it is official. Fall has come. The leafs have done turned colors. Driving down the road here makes me chill a bit. I am not chill much these days. They's work issues which are not under my control. I take the issues home and that stresses me out. Ain't that life? I have decided that I am a worker at heart. I knew that before with my 5 jobs and school, but here I really know it. I want the best and the most of the best all of the time. Why do I do this to myself when I know it isn't the best? Being busy isn't the best, but I want it anyway. I 'member when I tried to not work in the summer and I kept work 5 days a week until 3 days before I left to come here and work more. Time is gold to me and also Satan at the same time.

I've had some funny experiences here. One happened today when I talked to a student in 8th grade who told me that he likes to wake up early on the weekends and club birds on the side of the road. I guess they got a defense thing that includes holding still. Well, he just clubs them in the head and picks 'em up for food. So funny! I know of a grandma in town who carries a club in her back seat in order to do that too. I wish my grandma would have done funny things like that.

I'm going on a field trip on Friday. It is funny, cuz I am supposed to teach them what they already know. I have hardly picked berries in my life except behind my family's house with my uncle. Not exactly an expert! So, I will supervise! LOL!!!

I have not took a nap today unlike most good days. I try and take me a nap of at least 30 minutes since I never get more than 6 1/2 hours of rest per night. I know that it ain't healthy, but I keep a doin' it. My Internet ain't workin' at my house at the moment for an unknown reason and the owner of the Inn ain't super helpful with it. Wow, they's some funny stories with that place. At least I have two sets of awesome neighbors. We share food all of the time. It goes like this, "Hey, I got some extra chicken." and "Here's some pie that I ain't able to finish." It is pretty funny. Often on the way out of whomever's house, food is passed along. I stopped by a neighbor's house tonight and he said that he's a gonna give me some of his friend's moose meat. Really interesting. Sort of like a built in silo everywhere.

It is really not cold or hard here at this point. They's just stuff a goin' on all of the time and no time to do anything extra. They's dirty dishes of the evening when I get home and rice that needs cooked for lunch and a shit-ton of papers a waitin' on me. I ain't but a day in advance with the planning and I ain't able to get ahead. I keep a truckin' along. I look forward to Sunday every week. I look forward to the Sunday that will not include a trip to the school for a single thing. Tonight, at 10:40.... I sit in my classroom listening to youtube and writing all of this down. I know this is random, but I love random.

A Trip

2009-09-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

This place is a trip. I can't keep up. I know that I say that in every post, but time goes by too fast here. The amount of work that I have to do is above what I ever dreamt it would be. It is a place that is so cool and that welcomes better than most, but it still needs help more than most places. The chances to serve people here are more than there. You ain't got to look far and you see needs beyond what one can do. Tonight I was at a youth event and a teen was talking about his family history. Wow! He felt very able to tell me the details of a not so wonderful life in a way that was truly meaningful and not odd. I had never met him before. I must have this thing on my face that says come and tell me stuff about yourself. I can remember being back in Detroit and stuff like that would happen. I done this experiment with a friend once and I just sit there at a bench and waited. Within 4 minutes a foreign person ask me a question. This place is no different, but it is a trip unlike any other.

I went to a potluck for new people at the bingo hall tonight. They's lots of cool people there. That's how it goes! I eat turkey and it was super awesome. It was cool. After that a friend give me a ride to the youth center where I watched as a kid used a huge rubber band to welt hisself and others while he laughed out of control. It was amusing in the least. I laughed out of control if you could imagine that. The weather turned from rainy and in the 50s to partly sunny and in the 50s in the evening which give me a smile.

I will have an answering machine soon. I have a little helper who went to Anchorage. This elf will be bringing me some gifts and that is one of them. I am excited that you'uns who wanna leave messages can. I can't call back, but I still can laugh at the messages. I can imagine the funny ones now. I know in advance who will make funny noises and say funny things. I can't wait. That will also be a trip.

Youth

2009-09-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

Youth have always been a part of my life since as far back as I can think. Tonight I got together to start to thinkin' about a grant for the youth center here in town. It is the only thing in the region that serves youth in the ways that I see fit. They provide everything from homework help to a place to exercise. They's not a ton to do here, so some find ways of spending their time in ways that ain't the best. I'd just like to see more stuff for kids to do here rather than get into stuff that ain't the best.

I can't believe that I am helping to write a grant. What the heck? It is just very different than anything I've ever done, but more of the same. The building needs a ton of support. First off, there is really nothing in between the walls and it gets mighty cold up here in the winter. I'm a- scared to see winter in fact. I don't have far to walk to work, but I do have to make the walk. I went to the gas station today and seen a student who had a puppy under a sweatshirt. It was funny to see. Nobody even bothered to care unless she showed them. I got a $3 huge diet pop which made my day. I drunk it like somebody could steal it or take it from me. The simple things excite me here when I get them. A pop.... for real!

It is the weekend and they's more work to do than I can imagine on my worst day. New books came for 7th and 8th grade for the first time in a LONG TIME. I just got extra training on an online reading program. Between the both of 'em, I ain't got a clue what's gonna happen in my classes in the near future. Time goes by and I just allow it to pass me by. I worked until 8ish tonight and dread the morning because I know I ain't gonna work as fast or as long as I ought to.
The grades are due on Sunday night and I don't want parents a callin' and a screamin'. I must get it done.

I just wanna sleep right now.

Why Do I Make Plans?

2009-09-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

I make plans to go to the gym and I end up picking berries. I plan on going to this church and I end up at another. I plan on teaching this that or the other and I teach something else. Why do I have to be confused. Might could I find a path? I do have a place to lay my head.

I am excited for this weekend. They's so many papers to correct, but time's a flyin' by so fast this week cuz of Labor Day. I have so much a goin' on. Do this, copy that and correct everything. I am going out of my mind in a good way. Why did I have 5 jobs and have it easy while going to school? How was that possible? I just have a lot of questions. So many I can't imagine.

I had plans to go to the gym today, but I ended up in the forest picking wild cranberries for someone else to make jelly. What has went wrong with me? Time is my enemy here! I try to connect with people here while not being lost in what's happening back 'home'. I can't call out and I don't have an answering machine, so I ain't got no idea if people have called or not. I then get e-mails saying....., "WTF"?

Here I Sit!

2009-09-10T00:13:00.001-07:00

There's tastes of home here now. I feel a bit like it is home. I have my own bed, shower and sink full of dishes. I come in the door too late to do all that needs done here at 'home'. I still don't know where the time goes here. The days don't drag at all. I simply wake up and go to sleep and whatever happens in between is mass chaos every day. I am so far behind and so far ahead. I am still confused of the morning when I stumble out of my door after eating a bowl of oatmeal. There's too much that needs done. Where can I turn for peace in this peaceful place?

I remember the week before I left to come here. I forgot to go to work for the first time in my life. I was in Ann Arbor helping a friend move a couch and realized that I had done missed work. I amazingly got paid. However, today after having signed up for a tech. class, I forgot to go. My head was a hurtin' beyond believe and I just walked home and took me a much needed nap. Just after getting up I went to have dinner with some friends and then to another friend's house. They just got back from a real city where they had a Taco Bell and they brung me a taco and bean burrito. I was so happy! After having eat moose today two times, a good bit of Taco Bell seems like heaven. I will eat it for supper. Or will I go to another potluck? Who knows? The days pass so fast here, but here I sit!

I have splendid music playing which brings me back to places other than this kitchen table. Things are certainly different here. I am now looking at my fouton which has two bags of food that was sent to me resting on it. I never dreamt that I'd use a fouton for some place to keep food. I never dreamt that I'd be getting in from work after 11 pm two nights in a row and still feel like I'm just a driftin' along. Where is this place that I am? The Cold Hard Town is just that, cold and hard, but it ain't that bad.

I fear the nights here. Not because it is dark or anything like that, but because I know one more day has past and not enough has got done. I labor hard, but I don't. This place brings confusion at times and great peace at others. I'm still trying to figure out if I wanna stay long. Who knows what time will bring? I do know that I truly wanna drive a car and roll down the windows, and go thru a drive-thru, and see everyone. I will have to buy a ticket soon for Christmas. I am excited to be there and affraid to leave here and reverse. Interesting things going on in my mind.

A Calm Cool Evening

2009-09-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

I woke up and went to work. I hardly had an idea what I was doing as I rushed to school early to figure out I mostly knew what was going on. I must be early and stay late even when I am not doing much of anything there. It isn't that I have an obsession with the job, it is that I am doing something that I like. It ain't hard, but it is. I remain clueless, but the pieces are a fallin' in place. The wind was a blowin' and the rain was pourin' as I walked to school in the morning. Feeling the drops of water beat against my face was not so fun. My throat was a hurtin' like nobody's business. I guess that is what happens when I am exausted.

I took me a nap unlike most today after work. I heard somebody a knockin' on the door and ignored whoever it was. I still ain't got no idea who it was. My phone rung and woke me up and it was a friend. There was a ton to say, but I felt distant from 'home' for the first time. I guess I'm here now and not there. The idea of place is important to me. I identify with place more than other things. Places are special. I went next door to hang out with my cool neighbors. They remind me of friends back home. They are real and have a focus in life like many would only dream of. I left early cuz the weather had turned mild and sunny at 8:30 pm. I walked to the gas station where I got me a 'big gulp' like drink for $3 which is super cheap here. It was worth the walk. I went to walkin' thinking that I was simply going for a drink. As I walked down the narrow road I was amazed by the view. The boats in the harbor was covered by fog and the mountains in the background were lit by the sun as it was a shinin' off of the sea. What a cool thing. The gas station worker is a student at the school. I've seen him around school. He was super kind like most people here. They have nothing but each other here. I kind of like that simple way of life. People rely on each other here. If they have enough food, they simply give the rest to whoever is around who might not. Simple but amazing!

Three Weeks and First Sign of Stress

2009-09-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

There's still a bit of mass confusion here. Life happens so fast sometimes that you have no idea where the days go. I can't remember the last three weeks. Everything is so fast. I am in the middle of not knowing left from right and up from down. I have found stability in some ways yet more confusion in others. Go early and stay late and go back again to figure out that I still ain't got no idea. Time's a movin' and things a goin down, but I am not so sure I can follow. Confusion rules these days.

My Days Go A Driftin' Along

2009-08-29T14:59:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was super sweet too. I went to work where I had this crazy online training with someone the reading teachers. So I just sit there and tried to figure out what the new online stuff is all about. It is funny that I am supposed to be the specialist. OH WOW! I ain't got much of a clue. I'm a gettin there.

I finally moved into my new apt. which is about 5 times bigger than the one that I had for the first 3 weeks. After a long day of computer training, I had to move each and every single thing into this new bigger apt. Keep in mind that I only had 2 hours to do this and get ready to go to a new teacher's meal which was about 15 minutes away. I got picked up as usual and we went shopping. The prices are crazy. Just count on spending 4x the price of whatever back home. It is one of the only things that has give me a headache since I got here. We had a hillbilly meal like none other. Chili with cornbread topped with sour cream and cheese. They's right close to every hillbilly in town there. Man was it awesome. We listened to awesome music and eat together. The first group of people left and we went for a walk until other people happened in. It was sweet. They drunk theirselves into la-la-land and I laughed myself crazy. It was nuts. Good times!

Today, I slept in like a child and went to fixin' up my new appt. They's stuff all over the place. However, I can now find things that I have been a lookin' for. I went to school and done a fair bit of organizational stuff. Still ain't got no idea what's gonna happen on Monday when the students come. I just know that stuff ain't the way it should be so I'll be a workin' like crazy to get things better for a long while. My school has went from chaos to almost organized, but without a class list 2 days before school starts, they's mass confusion among many of us. More funny stuff to come.

Chaos

2009-08-27T00:44:00.000-07:00

Chaos is what you could call my life at this moment among so many things that are so calmly happening. I am fixin' to move for the 3rd time in 2 weeks to an upstairs appt. that is bigger. I am really glad to get out of this tiny little place. It is just enough room to exist. I must admit that this is my first thing to tackle. However, my classroom still has a plenty to keep me busy. They's still piles of books on the floor and I ain't made real plans for next week. I have a very general idea, which ain't what I need. I need to have a crystal clear idea of my lessons. Each and every day, they's so much going on. I can't focus on all that's going on.

Today was a work in the classroom day. I done my part, but trying to put together a whole school while setting up an new teacher with a new principal is not so easy. The teachers as a whole are amazing. I could not have asked for a better place to work. Of course, they's negative stuff here too, but it ain't blog material. Overall, it rocks. I guess there is another new teacher welcome party/potluck in the evening again. I'll be there with bells a ringin'. FOOD! I will certainly be excited to get through this weekend even with the extra day of semi-manditory work and working Sunday. I just don't think it's a way around it.

No Punches

2009-08-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, I done started working out in a funny place. You have to understand that this place can no longer be used for certain things, but it has been decided that living in this building is okay. So, they's a few people who lives there and in the basement they's a weight room. I walk a short distance and lift either alone or with everwho wants. There is mold a growin' up the walls and it smells of somethin' not so good. I was informed today that it floods in the winter and the wall is coming in. So, I might could have to find me a place to get fat! (according to certain people)

I am not punched in the stomach like some funny people does back home. I am certainly happy to note that it won't be happening here. I remember when my stomach was bruised cuz I'm so fat. LOL! No, actually it is cuz I was stupid enough to let people punch me in the stomach. It still makes me laugh until I almost fall on the ground. K-dogg also makes me laugh about it whenever he mentions it.

So, I have to pull out the punches this week and get everything lined up in my classroom. They's so much more that needs done. For example, I ain't got a phone or a clock that works. So, them things need some work. Who knows what this week will bring. Berry picking is around the corner for Tuesday and moving to my final destination upstairs will also be interesting. I'll have a phone which makes me super happy. Cell phones might could come in October, but I ain't holding my breath.

The Right Place

2009-08-23T14:07:00.001-07:00

I've went to right places and wrong places. You know, the type of places that makes you feel either good or bad as soon as you grace their doors. Each new place gives you a feeling of sorts. Ain't sure how to explain it. The sort of 'spirit' that the people give off or the feeling of feeling welcome. They's been many a time when I've felt like I was in the right place here in Alaska. Not too much yet has given me the feeling of wanting to just jet 'home'. However, for the last bit of time I've been thinking I've been blown away. I couldn't have planned this life. When I do plan, it don't work out.

I went to a church today that was unlike the one I went to last week. I was taken off guard. Remember that I went to Korea and never felt as if I was in the right place. Church was a building and one in which I felt like I was on a different planet. I couldn't have planned today. In fact, I tried to go to a different church and whoever picked me up took me to a different church than I had thought I was going to. I contacted someone online and they sent me back a email saying that someone would pick me up. No time was given. I just got into the car like I so often do in the Cold Hard Town. Feelings are fleeting, but I have confidence that this is where I'll spend a fair amount of time. One more element of life has fallen into place here. I've been a waitin' on a few things and here they are showing up in abundance.

I may feel differently here in a few days or weeks, but now that I have been showed Sirius on my TV, my computer times are filled with joy listening to my music. Things are splendid at worst today.

Alaskan Flagger

2009-08-22T14:52:00.000-07:00

Today I took a free Alaskan roadside flagger class. I guess my friend works at a place where I help out so she was able to get me a $75 class. I took it and it was certainly strange. I won't get into too many details, but let's say that it was different. Only in Alaska type situations everywhere. Anyway, they gonna put in a new road or two next year up here and if they pay what I hear, I'll be a doin' that in the summer. We'll see how that goes. I can just see myself a standin' there when flagging a road when a moose comes wandering past and scares the shit out of me. LOL!

Silver and Sliver

2009-08-21T00:15:00.000-07:00

Well I decided to really write a blog is crazy AE just for you, rather than typical stuff that I think, say and write. I feel as if there's a sliver in my hand that bothers me just a little when you mock. So here goes it.

They's a plenty of stuff goin' on. First, my classroom is mighty messy. I goed there on my day off and worked myself plumb crazy. They's so many books that needs sorted and they's so much stuff to figure out. I hain't able to organize it fast enough. My friends went to huntin' mooses this weekend. I wadn't able to go, but I set out to thinkin' that I'll be able to go for Labor Day. I'm a scared that we'll get us a moose cuz it is right difficult to bring 'em back to town and process 'em. Tonight I goed to a co-worker's house and cut up so many fishes. They's so many. With 10ish people it still took us about 1 1/2 hour to seal and label all that fish. WOW! My hands is stinkin' somethin' terrible. I guess we'z a gonna go out and take care of then nets that we done set in the morn'.

Now, are you people happy. I wrote something so nuts. Here's what's really a goin' on. I worked in my classroom all day a movin' stuff here and there. It was nutty. The entire school was empty just a few days ago for a remodel, so everything was brung into my classroom recently. All the technology and books and desks and everything else was just chaos until I went there and worked the last 2 days. It is far from ready at this point, but it's getting better every hour I spend. I have loads of books and book sets to look through and figure out what's going on for each of my preps. It sucks at this point, but I think it is going to get better soon.

We set the nets last night on the beach. The tide come's a rollin' in and the fish swim right into the nets. Then when the tide rolls out we go and pick through the nets. We got 25 silver salmon and split it among the new teachers. We reset the nets to get more overnight. It is a lot of work, but splitting the work among all of us is fun. I'd hate to do it all alone. So, for the most part I just go and get my food when I'm hungry. LOL! No, I went to a co-worker's house and she made me some food. It was my favorite Big Boy special. LOL! Now, I'm in my tiny room a thinkin' about when I will be in a reasonable room. I got to wake up in the morning and go pull in the nets again. Friday and Monday are days off, so I'll try and finish up as much this weekend as possible on my crazy classroom. Ain't even thought about the lesson plans.

A Berry or Two

2009-08-18T18:19:00.001-07:00

So, I've made it through right close to one week here in the Cold Hard Town. It ain't bad so far. I'm in my class but I ain't sure what's a goin' on with it or in it. I got things in my class at the floor that ain't mine mixed with stuff that is. Who knows? Time off the next few weeks is gonna give me some time to work things out.

Yesterday I went out a bit and did a bit of berry picking. It was awesome! Never thought that I'd say that! Today the first thing I done was separate the berries that I picked and got online. It was so slow even with two computers this afternoon, but this morning it was a movin' along just fine. Ain't sure what makes a difference. It still makes me laugh that I have 2 computers side by side and I hear that they's others that do the same thing. Interesting. Tonight I'll go a pickin' wild berries again and get ready for my 'work day' at work. I have to get things squared away in my classroom and have a good idea what I'll be a doin in terms of classwork. I can't move in too much to my inn cuz I'll be moving again soon.

So, now that my life's starting to seem more normal they's a gonna be some more changes 'round the bend. Let's see what they are.

Church and Randomness

2009-08-16T22:14:00.000-07:00

I got up today and turned on some hillbilly gospel music. I ain't fond of the box, but they's a cd/dvd player that does the trick of the morning. I listened a bit and then a friend come and got me and drove me to church. She decided to not go in which was okay, so she dropped me off and I got a ride back from a couple who also teaches at the school. I growed up in a Lutheran church so I thought that I was just goin to church as usual. Well, I was greeted by some older lady with an interesting something on that looks like something we'd see on the Catholic channel at home. I guess she's the pastor. Um.. Then I sit down and she preached about some old songs and we sung those songs. I had no idea when to stand or sit or repeat random stuff. Then came communion. I just sit there again. I hadn't a clue what was going on and since I don't think that Jesus truly transfigures hisself inside my stomach, I thought that it might be disrespectful to 'take of His body and blood'. I ate some sheep stew after the service. We just stood around the back of the sanctuary and ate. Interesting. I'll be a lookin' for a new place to go, but it wasn't bad. I may visit. The people was nice and all, but it just wadn't my thing.

I then rode back to those people's house and was given a dead salmon. Some lady just give it to me on a plastic bag and I took it and said thank you. However, I give it back and told her that I hadn't a clue what to do with it. I was entertained with a machine that makes pop with water and syrup. Then I eat me some dried smoked salmon which was pretty good. I was unable to go a pickin' wild berries cuz I had planned to go eat dinner with some of the teachers. We eat steak and it was super good. We played a train board game that I thought was a gonna be lame but it turned out to be good. I stopped by the harbor at low tide to see it since the sun was still out a bit. I dread the dark winters, but hey... that comes with the territory.

Now... here I sit at my computer in my tiny room with bags spread around my room. We have district in services in the morning. So, I ain't too sure what school will be like. I will only give you'uns good details of course.

The Cold Hard Town

2009-08-15T14:20:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm here. There's so much to say that it ain't possible to post about everything to explain clearly what's been a goin on. I guess I'll break it up into parts and then you can start to understanding what's happening. From the start of this trip until now, I can't possibly figure out everything has actually happened to me. Good and bad. However, many details will not be expressed here as blogs are not appropriate for such issues. LOL!

Well, I got in two nights ago. First of all the airport in Detroit thru here is a trip. Notice the name of the city won't be mentioned. LOL! Just call it a cold hard place from now on, as the cold hard place is a gonna be right cold soon. The brakes on my plane were very much not in good condition over in Detroit. I remember sitting there just a thinkin', "Is this guy really gonna take off." We sit there for 2 hours until they fixed the brakes. It was not pleasant. There was a very big woman next to me with fat woman stench. I ain't sure how else to express it. So, I missed my connection to Denver. They put me up in the Crown Royale Hotel. It was just okay. I had 4 hours of sort of sleep. I was terrified that I was gonna miss my flight in the morning. I made it to the flight and had to add another stop onto my trip. So I went through Washington state and then on to Anchorage were I got to waitin. I checked in at the counter and was told to sit and wait. They said my bags was gonna be in the cold hard city. When they was boarding, I went up to the gate and they seen my ticket and said that it wadn't what they wanted or something. They asked me to step aside and they then told them to close the door on me. I had to go back up and update something on my ticket and wait 2 more hours. Not good. I flew out on the next flight that was also delayed. Then I arrived in the cold hard city where someone took me to where I stayed the night. At the airport was super funny. It is very very small and a Chinese lady randomly got off at the wrong stop and they almost took off without her. I felt bad, but it was still mighty funny.

The first day of work was the next morning. They's just new people there, so it was interesting. I hadn't done much sleeping compared to the 30 or so hours I was up or barely sleeping. It wadn't enough. I sit there all day and tried to soak it up. Then I went on a tour of the town. The banks just up the road and so is the town for that matter. They ain't much here. However, it ain't too small at the same time. The only thing that really really sucks here is the price of food. I can't believe it each time I think of it. Try $16 for 1/2 of a watermelon and $18 bucks for a pair of work gloves and $30 for a carry out Chinese. WTF? So, if you don't buy stuff here, it seems fine. However, if you do you are SOL. The Internet is right close to slow, but it still ain't that bad. I have a computer from work so until I get mine, I'll use this'n. I druther use my own. Anyways, that's a summary of some of the random stuff. Other stuff is better said in person. Y'uns know that I like to tell stories. LOL

A co-worker took me 'round town and to her house where she give me some stew. I didn't ask what type of meat it was. She's from Palin's home town. LOL! After that she took me to her friend's house. Hard to say!! More on them to come. I got home at 9 and all of my stuff had done been moved into a TINY room. I barely can fit on the bed. I'll be here til the end of the month and then to another room at this 'inn'. Today I woke up and randomly took a tour of the rest of my choices here in the 'inn' and settled on one. I met a new teacher who lived upstream in a village of 500. He come in on a boat last night and he said he seen a ton of beluga whales in the bay. Sounds cool. He invited me to go back to his village on Labor Day and hunt and fish. He said the village is super cool but down as 2 people have killed theirselves in the last few months. Who knows how that will go.

Now, I'm in my room surfing on the Web thinkin' about what's next. I might go down to a potluck at the ball field or wander down into town. The sun's a shinin' so I don't wanna waste today. It was raining the last 2 days. I do have an address now. If you wanna know it, just email me. I'd be happy to let you know what it is.

Conversation

2009-08-06T06:42:00.000-07:00

I picked up a 'document' from WC3 today that was left there for the teachers to share with their students. It was all about people skills. I was annoyed at it in general so I picked it up and read it. You might ask why I care. Well... I love conversation so I thought that it might be interesting. Instead it was mighty lame.

Here is what was suggested:
1. Never interrupt: (studys of conversations prove that a good conversation always has overlapping communication, aka. 2 or more people talking at one time)
2. Confidential information: (I guess you should not share your SSN, but this really isn't common anyway.
3. Your health: If you can't talk about your health with your friends, what's the point of the friendship. How can people pray for you or help you if you don't talk about it?
4. Other people's health: If the other person has already brung it up..., what's the big deal?
5. Controversial subjects: This one killed me. Everything is controversial. These are the things that allow you to get to know the other person anyway. Why avoid them if you are really interested in having a good conversation? It is funny how the 'diversity club' does not want diversity of views just acceptance of the PC norm. LOL
6. How much things cost: Again, what's the big deal. If your friend got a good deal, you should be happy for them. I like deals! If they got ripped off the person should know about it and without conversation, this will never be known. Totally not important one way or the other.
7. Personal misfortunes: As long as it isn't a bunch of complaining, a story or two of this sort is always funny in a converstaion. Everyone likes to hear stories about bad/strange things that happened to their friends as long as nobody got hurt.
8. The final two I agree with. Stories in questionable taste and harmful gossip ain't really cool. I totally agree with these.

So all in all, my school wants conversations to be about nothing important. It is just a sad reminder of how society wants people to become more and more distant. Without sharing what's really going on in our lives, more and more people will feel left out and depressed.

I Liked to Forget

2009-08-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

Some days just are so cool for so many reasons. I had a super sweet day yesterday. First I helped my friend move a fouton and then I went to a little restaurant and ate the most wonderfulest of sandwiches. I guess my friend was sleeping on the floor which must have been horrible. I couldn't imagine not sleeping on at least a mat. When I was living in a tent I still had a mat. Sleeping is one of the best things ever created.

Yeah, I also went to the doctor for the first time in about 3 years. He had nothing to say other than everything was fine. I sort of knew that, but on the other hand it ain't like he really looked for anything wrong. It was a super dumb clinic where I paid the least possible to get a real doctor to sign a sheet saying that I was okay to teach. I'm sure that the limited horrible health care that Bomber is a lookin' to 'give us' is gonna be at least as bad. LOL

While in Ann Arbor we seen this guy holding a sign as we pulled off the freeway. I was thinking, "instead of holding a sign for money, go work". It was sort of a jerk thing to think, but then I actually read the sign. It said, "ALL OF US HAS STARS AND STRIPES, BUT ONLY DOLLY PARTON CAN MAKE US RAISE OUR FLAG POLES". I almost crashed while laughing. We dropped off the fouton and went downtown. Fun times. I got a 8 dollar caramel apple which was stupid, but among the best buys I ever made. While walking around the city we passed a group of Quebeckers which also made my day. I decided to randomly say something in French with a Quebecker accent which stunned them. The look on their faces was priceless. We went to the library and I checked my e-mail and realized that I forgot to go to work. I couldn't never make that up. I never have forgot to go to work in all of my life. I was so mad at myself and then I realized that it don't make one bit of difference. I picked the best day in the world to forget to go to work. I guess I shouldn't have thought that the bum shouldn't went to work rather than holding a sign. LOL

Time's a Tickin!

2009-08-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

I can't keep everything in order that needs done before I go. I try to see everyone and buy everything and fill out this and that paper and every other thing. Time is passing so fast before I have to go. I am sure that most everything will not get done when I get to Alaska. I have no idea what I'm taking or what I'm leaving. Am I taking this or that cd? I know that I can't do everything that should be done. Obligations are sometimes dumb. For example, I have to do things that are very boring/annoying just to keep certain family members happy. I know that when I get right close to the very last days here in Michigan other things will pop up which will push back packing. I will forget stuff and whatever and in the end I'll be there a livin' large. LOL! Not really.

Um... This Makes No Sense!

2009-07-24T12:50:00.001-07:00

They's been a few thing's that have been going on that get on my nerves. First, my appartment in Alaska has been so messed up. I guess there was some sort of handover of the building in June. I give them my deposit which ended up not being a normal thing to do. I had no idea, but the guy who took my money charged me the maximum amount for any unit at that complex without asking questions about my needs. He took to runnin' with my money clear across town. Keep in mind that he's about 2 miles from where he once run the business. Now he's doing something else. This guy and his girlfriend have been in town for 1 year and have done went through a bunch of deals with a bunch of townspeople. He offered me a new place a mile from school for $1,100. How funny is that? I had no idea which to take since the current owner first told me that I'd have to get the money from the original guy. The school advised me to stay where I was planning on staying. It is so hard to navigate through small town politics! LOL! Regardless, I'm a gonna get my money back and that's all that matters at this point.

Secondly, my student from last semester is claiming that he/she deserves a B. However, he/she got an E. They's no doubt about it. He/she refused to take the oral part of the French final and never once passed a test. I guess it's the culture requires handouts is what gets on my nerves so much. This student clearly ain't learned much and certainly don't deserve a B. Why not ask for a D- at the most. Mabye I'd feel sorry for the humble student. When you ain't passed a single test, one could argue that you could only fail. I bet they will side with him/her cuz that's how the big "D" rolls. LOL!

How funny is it that Obamer took back his comments about the police officer acting 'stupidly' when the police officer arrested the 'civil rights' activist? If you are breaking into a house and refuse to show ID, you'd better expect to say more than, "You don't know who I am." No wonder he was arrested. Today, Bomber took back his comments when he realized how STUPID he was. I believe that he took back the comments that he flippantly spoke. Those are his true feelings, but those are not accepted by the majority of Americans. In the process we got another insight into his true belief system. Maybe he'll make fun of cognitively impaired people again too. Who knows what types of bluders he's a gonna do!!?

A Quick Look at the News

2009-07-15T13:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.reuters.com/article/marketsNews/idUSN1429265720090714?rpc=77
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=a4.kYDWV9erc
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1199714/A-9-month-wait-arthritis-treatment-Delay-mean-lifetime-agony-victims.html
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D99F2JU80&show_article=1

There is just so much going on in this country. I am starting to not identify with what this country is doing. We are taking from people who have accomplished great things and giving to lazy people and those who do not work hard. Then the health care service or care that hard working people get will be below what they have worked for in order to provide for themselves. We are supposed to give freely WITHOUT being forced.

Why does 'Bomber' want to control/have all of the houses in America that are not being paid for and force the former owners to pay the government rent. What the hell is that? I am so angry. He done stole most of the banking industry, owns much of GM and now he wants our houses. What a nut job. He ain't a givin' crap. No, he is going to steal from the rich to pay for shit-pot health care without choices. Grandma won't get her care and she'll be told that she ain't worth it. Just take a pain pill. What?????? I no longer feel the need to pretend that I'm indifferent. I hate what is happening in this country.

Thirdly, this wonderful woman being appointed to the highest court in the land is a sham. She can't even say if she thinks killing a baby is okay or not. Is that above her pay grade. It seems like 'Bomber' can pick 'em. Those who are rich and not payed their taxes and idiots who ain't even got a clue about human life. I am proud that this woman has been able to become what she has become. However, if she got there by getting extra bonus points on a test cuz she ain't white, it is alll crap. Who cares that she was poor? Who cares her parents were immigrants? Nearly everyone in the USA once had family who came from somewhere else!! Arrr. This country is soon going to be much worse. Just tax and spend and take from the rich. After all, they are the problem because they have shown success. They make the jobs, so take away their money so they can't make any. That makes sense!

Hunger

2009-07-07T14:46:00.000-07:00

For all of the people that knows me, you know that I love food. I plan it and think about it way more than a person ought to. There's kinds I like and kinds I don't. Sometimes I overdo food to the point that it gets in the way of life. Show me a $15 dollar shirt that I can wear for years and a $15 dollar plate of food and I will most often take the food. It's the things in life that we hunger for that sometimes don't make us content. Eat that big ole' steak and taters and you'll be sure to feel sick for an hour or two. I look forward to the day when I have young'ns a runnin' the halls and when I have a tiny house someplace. I have to question if them things are what's important. I strive for new and better everything all of the time. I take the food rather than the shirt all of the time.

I've hungered for sleep the last couple nights. I lay there and turn this way and that. I'm not sure why I haven't been able to sleep, but it sure is annoying. The clock strikes 4am just as I start to slippin' off to sleep. I have much to do before I go to Alaska. I am right ready to go. It just makes me sick how much stupid crap they make you do in order to wrap up a hiring process. I'll be doing all this crap for weeks to come. Arrr. Could it be that I run until almost 1:15 in the morning with 10 random people that I couldn't sleep. Up and down random appartment complex roads and in circles. Good times, but random!! When I got home, I couldn't sleep.

Who We Are & What We Do

2009-06-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

I guess I have a hard time to figure out why those around me define others by what they do rather than who they are. I can't understand why someone's job is so important. I guess if someone's interests and talents are considered 'cool' to someone, it might lead them to think that a person is 'cool' based on their job. I don't think of myself as a teacher and would prefer others do the same. I force my college students to call me Ray cuz it is weird for me to have someone call me Mr. anything. I do not allow my job to define anything about me. I like stuff and it led me towards a job and that's cool. However, a job ain't me. I am me.

Therefore, I don't understand why the hell people are so crazy about Mr. Jackson. He is being praised as if he was God or something. His job as a singer did not make him a person. Let's face it...., he was an odd dude with serious issues. No one cared 1 week ago. Now that he is dead, everyone seems to 'feel bad' and everwhat else they can come up with to say in order to praise him. It is awesome to appreciate his talents and his music. Fine enough! I don't like it, but more power to you if you do. However, it is not him. He was a freak in many respects who gained the world, but lost everything in the process. His life makes me realize how little of importance money is fame are. It ain't even considered shit to me. I just don't want to live a crazy life like that and see no reason why a sane person would.

I never want what I do to define who I am. If I serve donuts, fish, lead a Bible study, run, teach or whatever, it ain't me. I also find it hard to believe that people look at others and judge them by their job. It is a job and they are working. That is cool all alone. They might like their job cleaning bathrooms. A jerk told me that I was never going to amount to anything at Tim Horton's cuz I had worked there for 10 years. What? How could you say that someone is worthless cuz of where they work? Just sayin...., jobs don't make people!

Many Things

2009-06-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

I have thought many a thing in the last week that could have been a post worthy, but today I'll try and fit a few of them into one post. You know...., politics, religion and fun times is the best!

I can certainly believe that North Korea is about to do something dumb. Send a rocket our way and we'll wipe you off the face of the planet. The only problem with that is tons of people will certainly die and I'm sure that other groups will join in. Don't forget that Iran is a waitin' to rage too. You got the educated people and young people showing that living without freedom is against their idea of a good life. Lots of people hate Isreal there, so hey..., seems like a combo of bad stuff getting itself into a nice little line. I can't help but think that times are getting to be worse and worse. Forget the jobless rate in the states. People have been convinced that they need the One to provide for them. He can pay house payments and even give health care for everyone. I can see the praise and worship a rollin' in now. Arrr.... I guess if you kill people before they are borned, you ain't got to provide for them!

When I was a drivin' down the road the other day I seen a bug holding on for dear life on my window. I was going something like 45 mph when he finally fell off and done whatever. I wonder if he died. Who knows? I just kept looking over to see if he was still there. I sorta felt bad for the little guy for some reason. I guess I should have killed him like the One did to that fly. PETA would certainly like to write me a letter. LOL!

I'm so excited that my weekend class got cut in July. I was not too happy that I was gonna have to miss church for the last few weeks that I was going to be in Detroit before moving to Alaska. I'm totally goin' camping for a weekend and would love to fit in any amount of fun times on the weekends. I feel as if I'm on vacation only working 4 days a week. I ain't done that since high school. FUN TIMES!