I'm a torn person. I want this and want that which leads to not wanting this or that. I want to live in odd places. I like living in odd places. After some time, I start to feelin' like I don't wanna live in those places. Arrr. I want to live in Detroit, yet I don't wanna live here. I am content serving donuts and then I get annoyed serving donuts. I wanna find another church and then I don't want to find another church. I wanna go on vacation and then I decide I'd rather spend time here. Why????????
Yesterday I sit on a chair for several hours looking at jobs. I never applied for a one. Why?? It takes so long to fill out these stupid applications and then I never hear anything back. I've decided that I'm here because that is where I am supposed to be. I could change it, but it wouldn't do any good. I'd be brought back here at some point. I made the very very difficult decision to leave my job in the cold hard town just to wanna go back. So, here is sit again in front of the computer. I ain't doing anything constructive. The car needs washed and the clothes needs to be folded, but here is sit.
I'm just eager to find out what the next few months brings. I have no idea what it will be. I'd like to go to a cold bright place where the sun shines and the birds sing. However, I am quite sure that it will be some place else. First I have to get my eyes fixed. I'm a scared more than anybody knows, but I hear it is worth it. Perhaps I'll be able to see the world in a more brighter way.