Torn

I'm a torn person.  I want this and want that which leads to not wanting this or that.  I want to live in odd places.  I like living in odd places.  After some time, I start to feelin' like I don't wanna live in those places. Arrr.  I want to live in Detroit, yet I don't wanna live here.  I am content serving donuts and then I get annoyed serving donuts.  I wanna find another church and then I don't want to find another church.  I wanna go on vacation and then I decide I'd rather spend time here.  Why????????

Yesterday I sit on a chair for several hours looking at jobs.  I never applied for a one.  Why?? It takes so long to fill out these stupid applications and then I never hear anything back.  I've decided that I'm here because that is where I am supposed to be.  I could change it, but it wouldn't do any good.  I'd be brought back here at some point.  I made the very very difficult decision to leave my job in the cold hard town just to wanna go back.  So, here is sit again in front of the computer.  I ain't doing anything constructive.  The car needs washed and the clothes needs to be folded, but here is sit.

I'm just eager to find out what the next few months brings.  I have no idea what it will be.  I'd like to go to a cold bright place where the sun shines and the birds sing.  However, I am quite sure that it will be some place else.  First I have to get my eyes fixed.  I'm a scared more than anybody knows, but I hear it is worth it.  Perhaps I'll be able to see the world in a more brighter way.