It looks like a new chapter of my life is about to open. It is the kind of thing that was only a dream just a few months ago. They was no way that I could have done any of this alone. I guess that this is one of those times that I am a bit angry at God for no reason. I can't place my anger, but I know with my head that all that is happening is good and is a gift that I only kind of earned. I only done so well because of the support of others. I am just not a person that can do things alone very well. I can do almost nothing well all by myself. I remember having a good friend sign me up for classes in university. I wasn't exactly able to even use the computer well enough or sift through all of them dumb courses in the booklet.
I am just at a point where I cannot even start to think that I done it alone. It is evident that Jesus is in control and I am not. I fight to be in control of things and I fail. I give up and God pulls through for me. How is it possible that I landed this job? I went with a friend to the interview because it is fairly scary to travel alone in Korea to an interview at a top level school alone. I'd be able to do it in the US without thinking, but not here. Things are different and I can't speak much Korean. My friend couldn't either, but we are dumb together. That is the way to do it. I sit through the interview and I give it my best. Them 30 minutes were fairly short. Time flew by and I don't recall too many details except the awkward times. I walked out of the room and walked clear in the wrong direction instead of remembering where I had come in. Then I went out and found my friend. I said, "What you do?" He said, "I don't know, but you got that." I went on to tell the good and bad things about the interview and the questions that they asked and everthing else I could come up with.
Two weeks after, I seen this girl in our language exchange group. She ask me about the job. I told her that I wasn't sure and she went on to tell me that I didn't get the job. She was sure. How could someone just come right out and say that. I don't know. Are you serious?
I had to renew my passport and the courier company lost my passport for 1 week. That ain't cool when you don't have an easy way to renew it here. I needed it. Not fun!! It was found and got delivered today. I continued to doubt each and every part. I don't trust in God when he is clearly in control and I am not. So, the chapter is a new one, but it ain't a clearly written one. I know I can do this job, but I can't do it in my own strength. I pray that this month will be filled with a calm feeling rather than anxiety about stuff that I ain't able to control.