Monday, January 2, 2012

New Chapter

It looks like a new chapter of my life is about to open.  It is the kind of thing that was only a dream just a few months ago.  They was no way that I could have done any of this alone.  I guess that this is one of those times that I am a bit angry at God for no reason. I can't place my anger, but I know with my head that all that is happening is good and is a gift that I only kind of earned.  I only done so well because of the support of others.  I am just not a person that can do things alone very well.  I can do almost nothing well all by myself.  I remember having a good friend sign me up for classes in university.  I wasn't exactly able to even use the computer well enough or sift through all of them dumb courses in the booklet.

I am just at a point where I cannot even start to think that I done it alone.   It is evident that Jesus is in control and I am not.  I fight to be in control of things and I fail.  I give up and God pulls through for me.  How is it possible that I landed this job? I went with a friend to the interview because it is fairly scary to travel alone in Korea to an interview at a top level school alone.  I'd be able to do it in the US without thinking, but not here.  Things are different and I can't speak much Korean.  My friend couldn't either, but we are dumb together.  That is the way to do it.  I sit through the interview and I give it my best.  Them 30 minutes were fairly short.  Time flew by and I don't recall too many details except the awkward times.  I walked out of the room and walked clear in the wrong direction instead of remembering where I had come in.  Then I went out and found my friend.  I said, "What you do?"  He said, "I don't know, but you got that."  I went on to tell the good and bad things about the interview and the questions that they asked and everthing else I could come up with.
Two weeks after, I seen this girl in our language exchange group.  She ask me about the job.  I told her that I wasn't sure and she went on to tell me that I didn't get the job.  She was sure.  How could someone just come right out and say that.  I don't know.  Are you serious?

I had to renew my passport and the courier company lost my passport for 1 week.  That ain't cool when you don't have an easy way to renew it here.  I needed it.  Not fun!!  It was found and got delivered today.  I continued to doubt each and every part.  I don't trust in God when he is clearly in control and I am not.  So, the chapter is a new one, but it ain't a clearly written one.  I know I can do this job, but I can't do it in my own strength.  I pray that this month will be filled with a calm feeling rather than anxiety about stuff that I ain't able to control.

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