The Singin'

After a good time at the gym, I had to leave early to go to church with my mom and her uncle. He asked on Sunday if we'd take him to church cuz my mom's cousin was out of town. We went early and sit in the hall. We talked to a few people and everything was sort of okay. Then somehow the baby born alive sickness of 'Bomber come up. I stated that above all, that's why I didn't vote for him. I support babies. I thought that at a Baptist church filled with old people that it would be a safe comment. However, this lady with an oxygen tank said, "He ain't as dumb as you think he is." Then a crusty old lady come in and says, "Is you a talkin' about politics cuz I'm at church?" I just sit there. I was stunned. I simply answered a question as to why I voted for him. I did NOT bring up the conversation. This was the start of a really awesome night. It turned out very awesome.

I am not sure why hillbilly churches start with a song and most people start to wanderin' around shaking hands. I am pretty sure that all 18 or so people knew each other and it is odd for new people. It is no real big deal, but it starts abruptly and ends with just a bit of small talk. I see it as a total waste of time. Then the real fun started. An awesome old guy started talking about how he built his cabin his-own-self back in the day. Then he got to singin' an awesome song about cabins in glory. It was awesome how he walked the church a talkin' and then just waltzed up there and begun singing. He was on the Grand Ole' Opry last week. He was really cool. I asked him for the lyrics which he had photocopied and he give it to me for my book. I was excited about that.

The preaching was old school but straight to the point. I sometimes wish that the simple and bold honest truth was preached at more churches these days. I find it amazing that these preachers can start normal and slip into huffing and a puffin between every two or so words. I am not sure why they do it, but it sure is funny. It is also funny how they preach and pray in King James English. At the end of the service half of the people went to prayin' up in front for the 'alter prayer' which was so loud. Just as soon as they finished, my mom looked over and said, "Granny woulda put them to shame. She was the loudest person in the church." It reminded me of how my mom's mom would march up there a prayin' with her hair all plaited up in a bun and pray for 10 min. with the loudest voice you could ever imagine.

Lastly, we went to Tim Hortons. I wanted to get me a good ole' bowl of chili. We went in and sit down. Two of the workers come over and started to talk to my great-uncle. For some reason, we got on the subject of snake churches. He told them that he went to one long ago. He explained, "I walked in one ole' country church and they's a messin' round with snakes. One guy held out his hands and they give him a snake. I didn't even realize he had one in his hand. Then another guy reached out and took it from him and he came to. As soon as I seen that I started to look 'round the floor. I went to bein' a scared and run plumb down the way and left. I was so scared that one would come at my feet at the floor." My co-workers looked very interested and were astonished. It was classic.