Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What Worry Does

I had a pretty good day today overall. However, I went to bed at 9pm last night. I wadn't able to do a single thing last night. I had so many plans to do this and that. However, I done none of them. Sometimes there's things that I want to say so bad on this cold hard blog that I can't. People talks so much here. It is nuts. When I go to the store I see at least 15 people I know. They ain't much I can do about it. It just is what it is. Going to bed so early caused me to have a good start to the day and a weird finish. I don't know what else to call it.

What was so bad about today? To be honest, I don't know. I went to thinkin on stuff that I ain't able to change very easily. The number one thing is that I'm here. I love it here and I hate it too. What can one say. I love it cuz the people here are awesome and I hate it cuz the people at home and awesome too. It is hard. I look up plane tickets in my spare time knowing that I ain't able to go no place anytime soon. I drove to the airport yesterday to take my friends to the airport who were going back to Ohio/Indiana. They give me their car for three weeks and another person offered her car for a week at the end of October. So, it looks like I'll have me a car for all of October. Too bad they ain't no place to go.

Things are 'cherry' as they say here too. I can't complain at all. My life is fast and I try to control what I can't. So, why do I worry on stuff that I ain't able to change or even influence? I know that I ain't in control, but I struggle yet. I am excited that my elf is a gonna go to 'church' with me. It really ain't church. A group of friends gets together and talks about stuff related to such things. I like it, so I kept a talkin' to my elf about it and finally she give in. LOL! Perhaps this will be something positive. I worry about this to as if I am in control. Why? I have no idea.

When I was in Korea I had real things to worry about. My mom was a flippin her shit and had super serious health problems while I was lied to 'bout it. I knew, but didn't. I feel as if life at home keeps going by just like it does here, but I'm missing out on stuff. If I wadn't here, I'd be missing out too. Arrrrrrrrr. Why worry? I don't get my-own-self.