Smelt Smelt

Today was a totally random yet not so random day.  I decided that I should sleep in and hope for a ride to church from somebody.  I had told my usual ride that they wasn't no way I was going to wake up 2 1/2 hours early in order to get to church.  I woke up at a reasonable time and noticed that my eye was a hurtin' unlike I have ever felt in my life.  It felt as if somebody was a gonna push my eye clear out of my head with a fork.  Not a good thing!  My friends came and we rode to church.

Church was very interesting with several odd things concerning one not so interesting churchgoer.  He was a rantin and a ravin about nonsense as I walked through the door.  I found my way to a nice piece of strawberry cake and sit down.  The not so perfected music started and the people went to singin songs that were right on in every way.  I like how I can look back on the service and remember how people just sung from where it matters rather than how perfect the 'band' was.  There's something to be said for that. 

I went on to a friend's house.  We decided to go on snowmachines and do some smelt fishing.  I didn't have no license so I wadn't able to fish.  We took off into the tundra on the snow-go at 60 mph or so.  I felt as if my nose was going to freeze off.  My goggles pushed my glasses and my hands were cold despite my well worn gloves.  I seen the most beautifulest mountains, sky and snow I ever seen in my life.  When we got to the ice fishing spot I caught a smell of smelt.  They smelt like a box of veggies that were a few days old.  They's about 15 of us that went including a newborn and two young'uns less than 5 years old.  Only one kid caught one smelt.  We went home cold and hungry.  The ride home was much colder than the 37 degree ride out.  I bet the temperature had went down a good 10 or so degrees.  This was a day that I could have never smelt from a mile away. 

Seeds of Life

I've been spending the last couple days communicating with this one and that one back home.  I got a text from my sister that said that my mom was going back to the hospital.  I didn't think too much about it.  I give it about 10 seconds thought.  It ain't like she hadn't spent the last week there.  I figured that it was more of the same thing.  However, it wadn't so simple.  I guess that she ate some pie during the day that she was out of the hospital.  Well, they's a ton of seeds in the strawberry pie and those tiny little seeds set in the most smallest of places in her digestive path.  Not good!  She ate that and about 24 hours after, she felt as if she was about to die.  Within 36 hours she was in surgery to remove all that those seeds had done.

I find seeds to be some of the most interesting things that God ever made.  They can be put in the ground and grow up to be a huge redwood tree.  I guess that they can find theirselves in a tiny little hole and cause hell inside someone.  I never dreamt that something like that could happen so fast.  It sure don't take too long for a tiny seed to cause such a problem, yet it takes hundreds of years for a tiny seed to grow into a huge tree.

I been a thinkin' about seeds a whole lot lately.  I guess the most smallest thing really can cause the best or worst things in our lives.  I wonder why this is possible.  If this is done, then that will happen.  The rules of cause and effect are very interesting.  Hopefully, life will take some good turns for me and some others that I know.  Why does people get the chance to plant seeds even if they will not sprout?  What about them seeds that grow to be redwoods?  I don't know!

Down Home Up North & Out Of Control

I've had a week of trials up here in this cold hard town.  My mom has been sick with heart issues for about 5 years and this week was certainly not a good time.  Thankfully I've managed to make this home up north like down home.  I bring down home with me where ever I go.  I 'member when I went to South Korea. I brung this cd mix with me of all my favorite songs.  I pulled out that cd last night.  Me and a friend visit for about 2 hours after going out to eat.  This cd took me back home.  Neither one of is from here, so we just sit around and talked about life down home compared with life up north.  They's so many things that are going on in our lives down home and we feel a bit stuck and powerless up here.

When I was walking to school on Friday, I liketa fell about 5 times.  Just when I thought that I was about to get my balance back, something almost swept me right back down at the ground.  I've only really fell once so far to where I got hurt.  I jumped up within 3 seconds as if nothing had happened.  However, as I was watching a 3 hour presentation in the gym my back started to hurting unlike anything I've ever felt before.  I just crept up on me.  It felt as if someone had pulled me by the hair of the head and swung my head around a few times.  It was not a good feeling.  My neck and back really took a beating and has hurt since.

Mom was in the hospital for the last week.  I asked her if she thought that I should come back during spring break.  She told me that it was a stupid idea and I should save my money.  She said they give her morphine a few times in the last few hours, so I figured it wadn't a good thing.  I ended up calling a couple people who she had asked me to call for her.  It was odd to try and tell them what was going on within a few miles of where they were from all the way up north.  I had right close to no details.  Those phone calls is what inspired the title of this blog.  I wish that I could be down home, but I'm still up here waiting for June.  It is at that time that I will go down home.  

Mix and Match

I made another pot of soup unlike all the rest that I've ever made.  I put in a bit of this and a bit of that in the soup.  It rolls the flavor into something like a thickly wound plait.  All the flavors are so close together.  No matter how I mix the soups, they ain't never the same.  I can get right close, but it ain't never exactly what I've done in the past.  I need to get me come moose so I can start to makin' some stews and burger soups. 

Having a day off cuz I was sick was the best curse I could have had.  I done so much.  I was able to lay there and talk on the phone and surf the web.  I even got some grading done.  I hated being at home.  I hate to call off.  I 'member one time when I worked at Timmy's when I called in and told my boss that I was sick.  I come in right after and give him a line about how I felt better.  My stomach was a crampin' unlike no other time.  I want to barf, but I couldn't miss a day of work.  Yesterday, my friend reminded me of that time and we laughed. He reminded me that when I walked in I said, "Don't make me wear a hairnet!"  I didn't even bother to explain why I had called around and then turned around and came into work.

I have had a hard time feeling like I match.  I don't really care one way or the other about clothes. I'm well known for having the same clothes for a decade and not caring.  However, without my orange jacket, I feel like I don't match no more.  The first time I was without it, it seem like I had to somehow find something orange to make myself match in my own way.  I still ain't been able to do it.

I had a very interesting experience in the cold hard town.  The explosive gas alarm went off and I passed that info on to my landlord.  He give me a line that it was cuz I had just took a shower.  I told him that when I press the alarm it says 'gas 210'.  I told him that if he was to look in the manual that it would say exactly what '210' means.  I suspect that it means that they's gas in my room.  If you hear that the Thai Inn blowed up, you'll know the landlord knew.  Something don't match up in this one.

Funny Things and Things That Make Me Think

Today is the first day in 7 years that I have called into work and give them the bad news.  I went to bed early last night. I've been a workin' so hard that I've drove myself into the ground. I woke up 2 hours after I went to sleep and I quickly realized that I only had a minute to get to the toilet.  I officially had the flu or something like the runs.  I had to somehow have sub plans on my desk for a sub in the morning. I mustered up enough energy in myself to start to gettin' dressed in order to walk acrosst the cold hard road.  They was this blizzard unlike any that I had seen so far.  The wind was a blowin' so hard and it liketa blowed me over twice.  I had no energy.  I climbed the stairs and pulled out my plans and wrote the board work on the board.  I then had to make it back across the cold hard road to my tiny abode.  It was my first time that I have called in sick since time begun.  Am I a gettin' old or just sick?  I feel much better, but I still feel as if there's a brick or two pressing on my chest.

I started this class at the university just down the road.  It is a very different university experience.  I can walk down either of the two halls and I'm likely to run into 4 people who I know.  Only 8 people may pass me.  This means that I know nearly half of the town in less than 4 months.  I'm taking a class called 'Teaching Academic Classes Online'.  I had many a problem logging in and the prof told me that in the worst case situation, I could just sit in her office. Now, that's distance education for you.  So funny!! I liketa fell out of my chair.  I enjoy the class.  I enjoy school.  I guess it is something that makes me think.

I can't wait for the summer to come a rollin' around again.  I feel like a kid for the first time in a while. There is so much joy for the simple things.  Waiting for the next snowfall or the next summer vacation makes me calm, cool and collected.  When I went 'down states' I had a wonderful time, but I longed to come back to where the 'snow-gos rip' and they know me by name at the store.  I love knowing everyone.  Time and distance erodes some friendships and family relationships, but not for all.  In most cases, there's no such thing as 'quality time' spent with people.  Time spent is time earned toward something that is priceless.  There is no such thing as quality time.  All time is quality.  No time is more important than any other. 

Problems

I feel so isolated from problems here in the cold hard town.  Don't get me wrong. The problems are a plenty, but I only see them on the surface.  There's a form of bliss that surrounds me here. I know of problems, but I'm so disconnected from them that it don't make no bit of difference to me.  It is a good place to be, and at the same time it is sad.  I need to be involved with the good and bad of the lives of people around here. I am usually among so many people who tend to want to show that they ain't nothin' a goin' wrong in their lives. I bet they lie to their-own-selves.  They's stuff going great in my life, and things that I'd like to change.

This is the first time I've truly been away from 'home' in my life.  Sure, I done been around the world many times, but each of the other times I felt as if I was attached in some way to that other cold hard town. (It's frequently colder in Detroit than here) I am away from 'home', but it is no longer the place that I miss.  I don't miss the roads or the city lights no more.  I miss the people more than ever.  I still don't want to come home.  It bothers me that they's people with really really bad stuff going on, and I am not there.  Do I seek problems? No, I am actually a scared of them.  However, for the time, I am sheltered from serious problems here in the cold hard town.  The people I am around frequently act as if they ain't nothin' wrong going on which makes it much harder to relate to people.

Problems bring growth.  Sure, I've had little problems here that I've growed through and they didn't seem too bad at the time. I just sit here a thinkin' how I'll handle a serious problem surrounded by so many people who either don't share their problems or who pretend that they ain't got none.  So, I spend even more time praying that the serious problems back home with so many people I love work out toward the good that we cannot understand from this side. 

So Much

They's so much to say and so many things a driftin' through my mind.  My vacation back home was mostly amazingly sweet.  I got to see almost everyone for at least a short conversation.  I wanted to see everyone so much more.  I wanted to come back here so much more.  I got back and went to bed instead of bringing in the New Year.  Instead, I slept for 13 hours like a baby that hadn't slept in days.  This too was so much, but not too much.  I had flew and was lucky enough to meet some super sweet people.  I even met a little guy named Joshua who almost never cried during our 4 hour flight.  He was right cool and his parents were also pretty interesting.  In fact, we had plenty to talk about for 4 hours and even thought I was tired,  I stayed awake to chat it up.

While there was so much to do while I was in the big D, there ended up being so much sadness at certain points.  Despite the joy of Christmas, there was a cloud of darkness.  This Christmas was the first in all of my life that showed light and darkness mixed together.  Both family and friends give me enough reasons to reflect a bit more deeply about that day long ago.  I run myself crazy while I was there trying to do everything, and a bit was missed.

Now that I'm back in the cold hard town, I've seen a crazy blizzard like none other. I walked to school with drifts of almost 3 feet in places.  I worked all day long and they's so much more that needs done. My mind keeps a thinkin' on what I should have done rather than what I done.  There's so much to do.